YuKiSu

Moved.....

2010-08-07T14:19:00.002+08:00

How do you find time to blog?

2010-05-31T00:43:00.002+08:00

Seriously. How in the world can a working person find time to blog?

If your answer is 'make time', then I guess you might be God. Hell! How do you make time?? Can I have the ingredients please?

So much to share, but where got time upload pics and stuff? Somemore have to photoshop-photoshop the pics... no need to work meh? And plus as if the internet is at 'Ferrari speed'!!

Hmm.... how leh? I really want to re-blog again. I really have to much to share!! Like my Khalil Fong Concert in Genting yesterday, mummy's retirement/baking dream...

Aye.... time, time... :(

Try my best?? Keep fingers cross, I really hope my next post won't be another one about not blogging in nearly a year's hiatus.

Lisa! Aja-aja Fighting!!!!

What makes you not want to blog?

2009-09-21T01:05:00.003+08:00

busy
lazy
tired
nothing interesting happens in your life
you don't feel the need to share anymore
no time
you suddenly feel too exposed
your life is crap and who want's to read about crap?
99% of what you blog is negativity, so why remember that?
No motivation

There. My post for today after 2 weeks. Nothing interesting? Well too bad... you can refer back to reason no.4.

The LiSa diet

2009-09-08T22:03:00.005+08:00

What you'll need (for daily intake):

Oats
Green Apples (and any other fruits to your liking but not unhealthy ones like durian)
Wheat cereal
Low fat milk
0% fat yogurt drink

Method: One meal a day which consist of 1 bowl oats and 1 green apple. If hunger pangs accrue, solve with some cereal, yogurt or another serving of oats and apple. Alternatively, you can drink lots of water (fact: did you know that 70% of the time you feel hungry, you're actually thirsty?)

Follow this diet for 5 working days. Being human, you will tend to crave for a hot 'real food' meal. It's fine. Give your self a break over the weekend, but make sure you know your limits.

Here's a suggestions or a healthier not so sinful to this diet 'real food' hot meal by my mum:

Steamed fish (I prefer salmon) + small portion of rice (can spice it up by replacing normal traditional cooked rice with sushi rice) + loads of steam vegetables (I prefer broccoli)

Alternative to the daily diet foods, you can also have salad, but do remember to cut down on the thousand island dressing. (tip: you can always replace with french dressing - oil + vinegar dressing)

Tip: If you have functions to attend that will be serving food, well, this is up to the individual. I will usually eat, but because your tummy is already trained to only consume so little food, you'll initially tend to get full faster. :) Oh! Also make sure you're not constipated. If you are, a tip is to drink a glass of lemon water in the morning.

Last but not least, you'll need DETERMINATION the most! Lots and lots of determination.

Note: This diet is my personal way of eating and I am not responsible for anyone falling ill (mentally or physically) for following. Know your own body, understand your own diet. Everyone's body is made differently to withstand different things.

p/s: My goal is to loose 2 kg = 4.4 pounds in 2 months. Wish me luck! :)

Where is my life?

2009-09-07T23:38:00.004+08:00

I have no goal. I have no direction. I just don't want to wake up. I hate you. I hate me. I just hate. I just want to be left alone. I don't want to pretend anymore. Why can't I just be myself? Why must I please people around me? Why must I live? I hate life. It has brought nothing good to me. Nothing. Why can't I be where I want to be doing what I want to do? Why do I have to make decisions? Why is it difficult? Why do I have all these problems? Why do I have to worry? Why can't I just be free? Why cannot I just cry and not care about the consequences? I hate where I am now. I never like being where I am. I just want to cry. I just want to be happy. But why am I not happy?

Is this what you call life? If it is, then I don't want it. I really don't. It's not worth it. Just take it back. Just leave me alone.

Who said choices are good?

2009-09-02T22:51:00.003+08:00

Just when I'm finally slowing adapting to my new environment, the call came! Arrrgh!! Why? Why? Why did it come at this such time?

Remember my 17th floor delima? *Click here and here to refresh your memory. I really thought that it was no more, but then I got the call today.... Aye... I'm suppose to be happy but I'm not.

I's so stressed out now! Which road should I choose? Please help if you can!

Anyhow, I've made a list of pros and cons for both.

Here

Pros

Relatively considered near
Slowly adapting
Colleagues are nice
Pay is good
New office/new environment
A bit different work specs, can learn
Boss is treating me good now so far
All Chinese company. Should have good CNY break and bonus

Cons

Very unorganized agency compared to the previous
Boss all promises but slow in action or maybe just empty promises
Small company = lesser staff = if everyone goes out for lunch, you'll have to go too = waste money = gain weight
Monthly pay is cheque based, so pay day is not fixed
Heard a lot of bad stories about boss and personally feel and experience some of the badness
Work might get too boring/to uncreative
All Chinese only. What happen to being 1 Malaysia?
Work starts at 9am

17th Floor

Pros

Big 4As agency. Organized
Works are more professional
Pay offer is super duper extremely high
People, work mates will be livelier
Better computers
Working hours more flexible
Don't need to start work at 9am
Culture there is to know when to work and when to stop and play
Better future prospects
No need to pay taxes

Cons

Further (journey from home)
More expensive parking
Only on freelance basis. No financial stability. Might loose job just after 1 month
No EPF & Socso contribution
Back in that old building. Wonder how is the ventilation there?

See! Both have equally good and bad. Aye... No point thinking about it now. Will just have to wait till tomorrow then only make the final verdict. Just hopes everything turns out fine. *Gulp

From PRC

2009-09-02T10:06:00.002+08:00

The bf just came back from a 10 day family visit in Beijing, China 2 days ago. I'm glad and happy that he is finally back! For good! See, He was first 400km away from me for around 1 1/2 months in Penang, then only after 4 days back home, he flew off to China... Even further away from me! Hmmph!

But anyhow, that is all now over. I'm happy too that he got to spend time with family there. :)

So, besides 2 cheong sams and a cute love quote photo book, the best gift he got me was... himself. :D Now he's back to only being 20km and 1 toll away...

~This one is for you ling. I love you!♥

The type of people who will fail miserably in my list

2009-08-28T09:54:00.002+08:00

Idiots who throw rubbish out from a moving vehicle! And yes! Cigarette buds count too! So you motorcyclist don't think you are innocent!
Idiots who cannot walk a few steps or just hold on to their own rubbish for a few seconds until they find a bin to dispose of it! As if holding onto that piece of gum you chewed on will melt your hand! Geez...
Selfish idiots who just don't bother about other drivers and just zoom through that puddle of water! This happened this morning! I pity the motorcyclist who was beside me, he did got soaked a little. Imagine if it was you! Stupid silver Hyundai Getz male driver with the number plate WLW 7177 (if I'm not mistaken). Karma will come back for you!
Drivers who have have money to buy an expensive big car, but opps!! Don't have enough money to install indication lights! Will it kill you to just flash those little yellow lights to indicate to other drivers that you are cutting in to this lane? Why? Your car will explode if you do so izzit? Geez...
Last but not least, the idiots who like to talk the talk but never walk the walk! And what makes it worst that what ever that comes out from their mouths has no substance! Not a single bit! So what if you are the boss's brother-in-law? That does not make you boss to you know! Who are you to 'lecture' me? Teach me about advertising and design? OMG! Just please take a good look at yourself in the mirror okay?

It ends tonight

2009-08-24T00:14:00.003+08:00

Haha, sorry for the lame-o header title. But then it is true what! The weekend just ended 15 minutes ago! Just like that! Done! Bye! Chao! Adios! See you in another 5 days! Arrrgh!! How can this be? Why did God create 2 days weekend in case of 3? hmmmph....

Anyhow, even though it has ended, but I'm happy and glad that not a single second of it went to waste. I had my fair share of sleep, drama marathon and not forgetting 'friend time'. :) The only piece missing was the bf, but I know he's having fun over there in China with his family, and I'm happy for him. :)

So, to bed I go now. Good night.

Dang! Now only I remembered that I'm still missing one very important post.... :( Weekend, pls come back....

Will Monday not come if I pray hard enough?
- LiSa-

Weekend!!

2009-08-22T01:31:00.003+08:00

It's already 1 hour 31 minutes into the weekend, and I am not going to waste another single second of it!

First on the list - Hong Kong drama marathon!!!

Will update you guys after I finish the whole 40 episodes about my semi-M.I.A. week!

Haha... No lar, joking only... Maybe 10? We'll see about that. :p

The new job

2009-08-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

One sentence to sum it all:

Can live WITH or WITHOUT it.

The end of bumming around

2009-08-14T17:50:00.002+08:00

Just got a call from the agency that I went for the interview yesterday. They are ready to offer me the job. Hmm... I'm suppose to feel happy but at the same time I'm sad... happy that I'm no more jobless and no need to worry about my finances that much anymore, but then sad because I know I'm so going to miss waking up everyday to a carefree time surfing the net and watching meaningless TV.

But, this is life and I cannot deny and run away form it. I'm was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, so I have to work, earn a living like the other 90% or more population of the world.

Life... you complain when you don't have it, and when you have it, STILL you complain... what's wrong? Oh well, what ever it is, think positive. It's a good thing.

New header

2009-08-14T15:53:00.001+08:00

You like? I kinda like! ^_^

Bye-bye old header... :)

Black or white?

2009-08-14T12:57:00.001+08:00

The answer is black.

Dunking crackers in black coffee taste much much better than dunking it in white.

:)

Smell my breath... and DIE!!

2009-08-13T19:36:00.002+08:00

Hahaha... Syok sendiri with my title... :p

Anyhow, today. Finally. After more than a month, I finally satisfied my craving.

DURIAN! But don't know why... mum and I used to be able to finish 2 whole fruits. But now, only after 1, we already have to push the piece to one another.

Never the least ... YUMS!

So, want to smell my breath? :p

I can't help it...

2009-08-12T19:43:00.002+08:00

For the past 8 hours or so since I'm log on to the internet, I cannot stop myself either smiling or laughing every time I see the boyfriend's avata. I really cannot help it. It's just funny...

Sorry ling... It's just too cute, too funny, too... I don't even know how to describe it! But all I know it never fails to make my lips curve up!

She doesn't want to feel left out...

2009-08-12T14:31:00.001+08:00

...So she took the whole night yesterday catching up on my blog posts, commenting on those she found interesting... And signed up to become my follower...

Haha... You know who you are.... So sweet... :p

The boyfriend

2009-08-11T20:56:00.004+08:00

Curious how the boyfriend looks like?

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Taada!

Haha... Don't really look 100% alike but these are the closest features they offer. I personally like the teeth the best. :p

Anyhow, you can get yours done at www.faceyourmanga.com

Related post: My Avata [Sunday, 28 September 2008]

The downside of not doing your own laundry

2009-08-11T20:18:00.003+08:00

Not being able to find that top you want, even if it's just peejays; and you cannot ask/throw tantrum because you have no right to, are not qualified to do so... Unless you want to start doing your own laundry.

...life

Update

2009-08-11T18:32:00.004+08:00

Okay, I haven't posted anything since 2 days ago because I haven't stepped out of the house since and just sitting on your bumb the whole day (well around lesser than half a day, I spend the rest on my back... sleeping), isn't something very interesting to blog about.

Anyhow, just in case you thought I was abducted by aliens (wooo... they actually let me blog using their super cool computer-look-alike thingy that is a computer in their UFO with a window view of the earth), too bad I'm not.

I'm still doing just fine rotting in my peejay's the whole day doing a House (season 3) marathon while at the same time multitasking Facebooking.

Also, I have an interview in Taman SEA this Friday night. Yes! Friday night. 8.30pm. I don't know why it's scheduled at that time, but it is an ad agency, small, but still.

So there. I'm still alive and kiackin'. Too bad for those who thought they can finally stop reading this sucky blog and inherit all my lions and clothes! Boo hoo~~

p/s: Sorry if I 'sound' bitchier, crankier or more sarcastic. It's House!

17th floor... Here I come??

2009-08-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

Okay, why do I always feel like this after sending out my resumé or applying for a job? It's a mixture of excitement, nervousness and fear... Yes, fear! Oh! Paranoia as well.

See, now I'm feeling paranoia. I'm paranoid thinking is my portfolio good enough? Am I humiliating myself? What makes me think I'm qualified? What if I'm offered the job at Muncy's and this one wants to hire me too? Which one am I going to choose? Or what if I don't qualify for both? I didn't apply for many jobs. Those that I did apply over Jobstreet are still static... Then I'm going to be broke, and my finances will be back to square one! Arrrgh!!! How?? Panic! Panic!! Panic!!

......how?????

Now you are following me...

2009-08-09T16:35:00.003+08:00

Dear boyfriend,

Since you were so slow, I took the liberty to do it for you. See, now you are officially my follower, no more stalker... good leh.... :p

p/s: Girls, isn't it great to know your bf's e-mail account password? :p But of course, make sure you know your limit. Only use it for good things like this! :p And remember, a good and healthy relationship is based on TRUST!

Long time no see

2009-08-08T23:01:00.001+08:00

Hello there... Long time no see! Where have you guys been? I'm really glad to see you guys today. Oh! Have I told you guys that you look great? Happy and bright... :)

Hope to see you guys around more often! :D

Don't know what I'm talking about? Try taking a pause on what you are doing, look up into the sky and just let it sink in...

Not so excited about this... :(

2009-08-08T10:41:00.003+08:00

Countdown to Bangkok trip: 83 1/2 more days

Was super hyped about this trip... until 5 minutes ago... *sigh....

Just read about this piece of news in the papers titled "Bangkok Airport Scam" (*click to read it online or find it in today's Star paper under the World section, page 37.)

So sad... My excitement level started with 200% when I manage to purchase super cheap airfare (only RM173 for return tickets!) 5 months ago, then it went down to 150% when the flu broke out, then 100% when I nearly failed to book the hotel I wanted (but managed to in the end ^_^), then when the flu got worst it was 90%... then I start to worry a bit about my finances to shop like mad there - 70%. Now this? I'm officially at 50%.

It's so not going to be fun it this happens to anyone of us there! I was fine for the past 2 trips (touch wood!!), but you'll never know right? Shit happens.... Guess I'll just have to warn and restrain the girls in stepping into any duty free shops when we are there... And not forgetting pray... *sigh.....

So not happy now lor..... ROAR!!!

Che...wah!!

2009-08-08T08:33:00.004+08:00

I officially, officially, officially have 1 follower! Yeah! Let's pop the champagne to celebrate!

Okay... I admit that I'm not a very good blogger, because that old Australian dude, no more... I WAS right I guess... He was gone within 2-3 weeks I guess, maybe sooner. I cannot remember. But anyhow, he's not important. It's actually kinda creepy that an old 'ang moh' is reading my blog... yer... Haha...

Anyhow, welcome Honey!!! Love you! Love you! (But not as much as my darling lar... :p But then again... maybe not... I've seen you more times in this month than him... AND you follow me! [+10000000 points] He on the other hand stalks me [-10000000 points] >(... haha....)

Kit Kat Sing it Back

2009-08-06T20:58:00.004+08:00

Since being jobless for the past week, I've been spending a lot of time in front of the TV. And being someone who is from the advertising industry, those 5 minutes advertisements break don't usually irritate me but amuses me...

Anyhow, seen this on TV recently?

Kit Kat Work Like a Machine - Sing it Back

Damn funny right? If I'm not mistaken, Kit Kat just launched it's 'Work like a machine' campaign. They are recently running 2 versions. The other is called "Checkout Counter". I have no idea who did this advert. Is it done locally or adapted. But whatever it is, it's damn cool... haha...

The result

2009-08-06T17:18:00.002+08:00

20 grams coffee is no match for a little lesser than a gram blue pill. I was knocked out for 14 hours straight! And I'm still feeling a bit drowsy now...

That is one super pill... And I'm glad that it cured my sinus for the moment... :)

Coffee vs. Little Blue

2009-08-06T01:10:00.004+08:00

On the left in Red, weighing 20g... We have Nescafé 3in1 Regular!
-I had this craving for coffee after dinner time... And after mum managed to sell the concept to me, I took it. She said: " Drink la! You are not going anywhere tomorrow right?"

And on the right in Blue, weighing lesser than 1g...We have Little Blue Flu pill!
- I'm having a very bad case of sinus now and I'm out of the milder pink ones... so what the heck!

So now, lets see who will win. Will Red keep me wide awake or will Little Blue knock me out, literally. Check out it's 'threatening' note...

Ding! Ding! Ding! Fight!

pss... I'm rooting for you Little Blue! Knock 'em dead!

I rock!

2009-08-06T00:36:00.003+08:00

Just finish typing a super duper long mail on Bangkok to help out Horny's sister. She is also going to Bangkok but a bit earlier than us.

I feel like I'm such a pro... listing down hotels, shopping places, food, sight seeing places. I even gave her loads of tips like prices of transportation, where to buy what and safety etc... Not forgetting a rough itinerary as well...

Another trip there and I'll be even better at this! Because my first 2 trips were only on shopping, so I don't really know any sight seeing places. But no fret... this up coming trip is going to help me out on that....

LiSa the Bangkok expert... haha... Do I rock or what? :p

DONE!

2009-08-05T20:04:00.002+08:00

Took me 2 1/2 day and I'm glad it's all done! :) Happy that everything went as scheduled.

In the end, my conclusion is:
1. The Immigration department really did mark up their game. It took me only less an an hour to get everything done (didn't include the 2 hours that I'm suppose to wait to get mt passport la... I multitask-ed by going to do my PTPTN stuff).
2. Talking about PTPTN, this government sector still SUCKS big time! Reason:

The kiosk is not In KL Sentral. It's actually outside... out the main door turn left, it's at the end. Made me wonder up and down around inside like a 'siau cha bor'... -_-III
10 counters, 7 is for 'pertanyaan' (question counters, which includes explanation or their sucky system, legibility, complaint... Everything under the sun la expect payment, that they have 3 counters for that. Ratio a bit salah right? Meaning they are well aware of their system and started this kiosk to keep people raging up to their HQ in Damansara Heights la? Smart....
Their 7 counter plan kinda work... cause you do really have to ask and complaint to get what you want worked out! Geez... First I had to clarify to the lady that I suspect that I have already over paid my loan by deducting what so ever amount that is stated in the statement they sent. And that is based the 3% interest, not the recently change to 1%. Her reply was that I cannot base my loan amount on that statement because they had already mentioned before that they only issue statements once a year. And if I want to do full settlement, I have to check with the accounts department first. Geez... this lady is not listening to what I say... Or maybe her IQ is not high enough. Let me repeat, I've already double check with the statement you sent. And I am sure that I have already over paid. Around RM1000. And that is calculating with the 3%. And I don't want to do a full settlement. Okay... she is starting to get it now and decided to check her system for me... 'Ya la cik, anda sudah bayar lebih.' So what is my next step? 'Cik fill in form ini and I will suruh the accountant to kira now. In half an hour you will know the reult. You boleh tunggu kat sini.' Half an hour later (thank God she did keep her promise), 'Okay cik, ini letter dia... (letter wrote: blah, blah, blah... huh? No figure, no answer. WTH is this? Patience...) Miss, so what is my next step now? 'Oh, we will issue statement to you tell you that your pinjaman sudah selesai. Dalam satu bulan you akan terima surat itu.(smile)' Okay, then how about my money? 'Oh, cik sila fill in form ini, your particulars and tulis kat sini 'tuntutan balik bayaran pinjaman berlebihan.' The form she gave me? Form 'Aduan' (Complaint form).
So fail!!!! I have to ask then only there is movement! One push, I step. It's like leading a hear of cows... and I think cows walk even faster! And everything is a 'complaint'? Aye... I am speechless.

The Itch

2009-08-04T21:33:00.002+08:00

The itch is back... And I'm tempted...

A hundred bucks? Can I afford it? But I'm unemployed...

God! I hate this itch! It's everywhere... Can I hold back for another 3 months?? Am I strong enough?

Why is my finances so sucky... :(

...And it irritates the hell out of me the my mum keeps breathing down my neck about interviews every 5 minutes! Just stop it already! As if what you are doing is going to help! GOD!

Tuna is RED!!

2009-08-04T12:03:00.003+08:00

* Knock head on wall then slaps self silly with a big piece of (RED) tuna!*

OMG! How can I be so silly? Why wasn't my brain working? Sooo irritated!!!

Because of that, I lose out on one more ingredient... >(

Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED! Tuna is RED!

"You are not senior enough"

2009-08-04T11:37:00.002+08:00

... said the dude who interviewed me just only nearly an hour ago. WTH? Me not senior enough? I've already been working for 4 years mind you... and at my previous, previous agency (Vibes), they was already ready to offer me a junior art post. Hmm... Oh well, design IS subjective so there is no right or wrong to anyone's opinion. Maybe his standard is higher, he is the MD of the marketing department...

Over all how did I fair? Er... well, as usual when I panic, I will blabber.... haha... the dude actually did cut me off a few times even before I could reach my answer... :p After all the blabbering, I had to go through a 'test run'. I don't really like going for interviews who practice testing you out. This is my 3rd so far and I dunno, I just don't like it. For what reason, I really don't know... stop asking me already! Must there be an answer to everything? Geez...

Okay, no point thinking about what that already been done. Anyhow, I'm now a my 2nd stop of my "To Do" list - Having my car serviced. It's going to take from 1 1/2 hours till 2 1/2 hours depending on that tiny problem I had. We'll know after the diagnostics. Then after that, I'll be heading down to the post office to get my super duper dead license renewed.

Aye... So much money going out today... This service is going to cost to nearly around RM200 then plus my license RM90. RM290 a day! Not forgetting my passport which is going to cost another RM300 tomorrow! Not forgetting RM8 for the stupid picture which I bet is going to look like shit... >( RM600 dei!!!! I'm jobless... Help... :'(

The new plan

2009-08-03T15:42:00.002+08:00

The initial plan written in the wee hours early this morning:
1. Service car
2. Renew driving license
3. Take picture for passport renewal
4. Renew passport
5. Go to the PTPTN kiosk in KL Sentral
6. Do up portfolio

The new official *NEW* plan:
1. Do up portfolio (✔) *done!
2. Renew driving license (postpone to tomorrow after interview)
3. Service car (postpone to tomorrow after renew driving license)
4. Take picture for passport renewal (advised by mum and the bf to take it there at the immigration office to prevent from the possibility of pictures getting rejected... -_-III)
5. Renew passport (postpone to Wednesday - have to adjust sleeping time in order to be able to wake up in the morning... :p)
6. PTPTN ( postpone to after renew passport)

See, much better right? I'm actually the type of person who don't like going put of the house... or to be more precise, I'm lazy to get dressed up. I'd rather be in my Peejays the whole day and just chill at home... So if I go out, I''ll try get everything done at one go... Kill all the birds together... So, usually if there is nothing important... I like being in my Peejays, chilling with my lions... :D

Bye-bye Friendster...

2009-08-03T03:19:00.004+08:00

What's Friendster now when everyone's migrating to Facebook and Twitter? I bet if you like ask a 13 or 14 year old, they'll surely go "Huh? Frie.... what?" Or "What ...ster?"

Honestly my friend, Friendster is like so yesterday or even so last year or so last century.... Heck! Who still uses ICQ chat anymore? Gone were those days man... Facebook really killed all those... And to think that we thought the internet then was already so 'changih'...

Anyhow, I'm planning (or more to have decided) to close down my Friendster account. It has been left there to rot for dunno God knows how long... only once in a blue moon I will just pop by to check it out and usually, I'll only last on that page like for 1 minute? So what's the point in keeping that you are sure you won't and don't use anymore? Besides, I always feel that Friendster attract a lot of weird people... I just only received a message form this dude who is 'asking' for friendship! WTH?? Who asks for friendship now days? And over Friendster? Geez... But over all, it's damn creepy lar... The security I feel is so bad... the page really feels doggy... like Shaw Centre Point... haha....

Okay, so bye-bye Friendster... I WILL NOT miss you....

Update: So 'kiasu' this Friendster... they actually will not let me cancel my account unless I fill in which other networking site I joined... yer.... you should know by now that you are already so unpopular, so far back in the IT era.... So why do you keep letting yourself get smack on the head? Just let it be already.... let go...

To Do List

2009-08-03T03:06:00.002+08:00

1. Service car (I'm already a few days and KM late and my car's making this buzzing noise... >_<)
2. Renew driving license (psst... I've been driving around with a dead license for the past 4 months... :p)
3. Take picture for passport renewal
4. Renew passport for BKK trip
5. Go to the PTPTN kiosk in KL Sentral to check my loan balance (And to complaint! And apparently, they actually set up this booth specially to entertain complaints! The HQ in Damansara is just... I dunno, there to collect dust and let the employees there lepak! What kind of system does out country run on! Geez...)
6. Really, really seriously do up my portfolio! My interview is in less than 48 hours and I'm still taking my own sweet time Facebooking.... -_-III

Yikes! So many things to do but yet I'm still awake at this hour.... I'm soooooo betting that I will never get even 50% of what's on my list done tomorrow (and it's only 3!!).... so die la.....

I.N.E.E.D.T.O.L.O.O.S.E.W.E.I.G.H.T

2009-08-02T20:07:00.003+08:00

P.E.R.I.O.D!

Been feeling flabbier recently... It doesn't make sense! The bf has not been around for a whole month already which means I don't need to accompany him for dinner. I'm still on my 'no office lunch' diet and my other '1 meal a day' diet. But still I feel like I'm flabbier!

Well, the weighing scale isn't showing me any good news either. There are days that it even shows me 'ugly' and 'disgusting' numbers! Maybe I should throw the digital one away and just stick to the traditional one... in case it's showing me nicer looking numbers!

Why? I'm visiting my 'throne' healthy, 2 times a week. My one meal a day's food (which usually is dinner) is healthy I think... little rice, loads of greens and steam fish or some other healthy alternative food like chapati or wheat bread. If there are days that I have dinner with friends (usually on Fridays), I always make sure I know my intake limit for the next meal. And if I'm feeling a bit hungry and cannot control the hunger pang, One small bowl of healthy wheat cereal. So what's the problem? Don't tell me I need exercise because I NEVER exercise.

Help!! :( If I have some moolah, maybe I should consider gym-ing or a slimming parlor? Better still... LIPO!! Woohoo!! (*aye... I should really stop dreaming... >_-III)

Pink?!

2009-08-01T19:49:00.002+08:00

Seen this ad on your facebook™ page before?
Well today was the first time I saw it and I'm shocked! A pink MacBook Air? PINK? I'm not color blind right? I did some quick research on the internet and apparently Apple didn't launch a Pink MacBook. It's actually custom colored... hmm...Cute... but at the same time weird.... I think Paris Hilton or XiaXue (the famous Singapore blogger) will love it. I don't mind owning on too if it's free... haha... but the thing about a MacBook Air is that it doesn't have a CD-rom. You'll have to get an external one... so not very happening anymore right?

Krispy Kreme doughnuts

2009-08-01T17:11:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was nearly 99% perfect (1% because the bf was not around... *sad). McD dinner with loads of chit chat and gossip and unexpected surprise attendance, plus 2nd round adjourning to a nearby mamak stall after that. And to make it a whole load more merrier, in conjunction to celebrate me ditching the hell hole I was in for 6 months, I decided to treat everyone to some doughnuts!

Krispy Kreme was finally introduced to Malaysian a few months back by Berjaya group (who is famous for bringing in a lot of US brands such as Wendy's and Starbucks to name a few). They launched only 2 stores so far in Malaysia, the first in Berjaya Times Square and the 2nd in Mid Valley. I'm been eying to get some for quite sometime now since the store was finally up and running like a month back and just wanted to know what all the hype was about. We already have quite a number of doughnut stores like Dunkin' Donuts, Big Apple and J. Co. So what makes Krispy Kreme so special?

Maybe I was in a hurry, but not like J. Co and Big Apple, their menu board was quite... how do I put it, simple? If I remember correctly, there was 2 or 3 menu boards on drinks, 1 on individual priced doughnuts and 2 more on promotion - 1 promoting their famous original glaze doughnuts and the other the call "Double Dozen Deals", which were 2 dozen original glaze for RM33.90 or 1 dozen original + 1 dozen assorted flavors for RM37.90 (plus you save RM6 for this deal). But huh?? How about 1/2 a dozen or just 1 dozen? Why no indication on menu board one? Don't tell me I had to do my own maths by multiplying the individual prices first then only approach the staff to pick my doughnuts? Hmm... won't that sound a bit funny? And also wouldn't it clog up the traffic flow? Imagine seeing a bunch of people standing around looking up at the menu board with mouths open doing calculation in the mind... weird I say...

Anyhow, because I just wanted to be fast (Laptops aren't very light okay... plus I usually carry a huge handbag full of 'female rubbish' and not forgetting I was in heels...), I just went "wat ever la! Give me double deal 2 (1 dozen original and the other assorted)." Just within seconds, I was already at the cashier paying for 24 doughnuts! RM37.90.... bye-bye... But then, okay lar... the staff are really very friendly. I did went into my aunty mood a bit my making him change flavors a litte here and there and he was really very patient with me. *Thumbs up to Krispy Kreme staff!!

So exited with my purchase and since everyone haven't tried Krispy Kreme yet, I really thought it will be a hit... mana tau..... -_-III I bought 24 and only 10 were consumed?? There were 10 of us there and I really expected the guys to like maybe have at least 1 each... but... aye.... everyone just nibble a bit here and there to share... hmm.... looks like Krispy Kreme (or maybe doughnuts in general) isn't such a big among us...

By rule, the owner usually has to 'ta pau' back what ever left overs, unless someone voices out. But no one did so into my fridge you guys go... can have you for lunch tomorrow... 14 freaking doughnuts... haha.... Party the bf is to blame because he's not here to become my personal MPK/MPPJ/DBKL (which ever city you are in). >(

Picture time!

The box packaging... Me kinda likes the retro diner look. Retro looking but at the same time modern. Design is such an amazing thing!

Serving suggestion on the box for original glazed doughnuts. 8 seconds? Ha! So penipu! 8 seconds was not even enough to make the doughnut warm! In total, mum had to microwave it for 1 minute.

Our lunch, mum and me... clock wise from top: Chocolate Iced Glazed Cruller, Hershey's Drak Chocolate, original glaze and Peanut Butter.

In conclusion, I personally feel that the doughnuts taste better served after microwaving. There are actually 2 recipes (f I'm not mistaken) for the dough - normal doughnut and cruller. The cruller dough is a bit flakier. But all in all, microwaved taste much better. And will I crave for it? Well, I don't think so... It's not you Krispy, I'm generally not a doughnut fan... sorry...

Oh! We only ate 4, so how about the rest? Haha... Mum is distributing them to my little cousin now... free doughnuts after a Tae-kwan-do session... this aunty so good... :P

Watching Grey's re-run

2009-08-01T04:44:00.003+08:00

Why do I put myself through this emo-ness/drama-ness over and over again?

Grey's Anatomy is one drama series I can watch over and over again and yet still having me at the edge of my seat cringing for the drama to stop but yet at the same time want more... so Dr. Jackal & Mr. Hyde this emotion... so much the confusing-ness.

Because I had nothing at all to do today at work and the internet was already getting boring, I though why not just randomly choose one episode of Grey's to kill time? I ended up with season 5's 2 episode long finale. Why? Why did I do it?

George... Izzie... Grey's had come a long way since season 1. It's not anymore all about Meredith. At first, you will think that without her, what's there to this show but later on along the way, you will in the end fall in love with every single character, big or small. Without them, I don't think this show would had been such a hit. But of course, the show IS named after her so... ya... you get the point.

Anyway, season 5's finale ended with both George and Izzie coding (will not explain the whole details on how they got to this stage... interested, go watch. I bet you'll be addicted! :P). According to greysanatomyinsider.com, half way through the ending of season 5, there were rumors of George (T.R. Knight) and Izzie (Katherine Heigl) planning to leave the show. Reason was T.R. Knight complained that he was not getting enough air time (which was true as he did appear a lot lesser in season 5 - only 48 minutes for the first 9 episodes to be exact compared to 114 minutes for Sandra Oh's Christina character) and Katherine Heigl was targeting more Silver Screen acting after her good reviews form "The Knock Up" and "27 Dresses".

But this Shonda Rhimes lady is one brilliant writer. She saw this as a very good opportunity to make fans like me grip to the edge of our seats even more. Are they really leaving or are they not? Yes? No? Maybe? The best and most classic way to end a character - death. So this is where you get both Izzie and George in limbo for the closing. If you think that was torturing, ha! We then had to wait for another 4 months for the next season to air! 4 freaking months!

Because people like me just can't wait 4 freaking months, I'm thankful that we have the internet! greysanatomyinsider.com is where I get my juice news. So it looks like T.R. Knight is really leaving... what will Grey's be without sweet ol' George? Who's going to talk sense into Izzie? (Yes! In case one didn't die!) Izzie and George are best friends... It's sad... plus, I just found out that Ellen Pompeo (Meredith) is preggies and is taking break from shooting season 6. WTH?? Grey's with out Grey? How is this going to work? The spokes person for the drama series actually quoted "But (at least) we have Lexie Grey." Huh?? What? Lexie? Puh-leea-se!!

See! That's the thing! So full of drama.... like a love hate relationship I must say. I hate the fact that the original cast changing, but at the same time, I'm eager to know how will season 6 be like. No George and lesser Meredith... hmm...

Oh! I was also just thinking. Remember Burke (Isiah Washington)? Christina's fiancee who left her at the alter on their wedding day? Well, he left the show just after 2 seasons because of some conflict with T.R. Knight, so I wonder, will he then come back? Since T.R. is gone. No more conflict. I even thought of how he can fit in. He's back for Christina! Woohoo! Then now Christina will be in deep trouble. Just as things were getting on with Owen, BAM! Hello Burke! Besides, Seattle Grace is still missing a cardiac surgeon. Plus, Christina will be in so much dilemma without Meredith to give her advise! See How cool is that? I can be a script writer too... haha...

Oh well, no point with all my crap. We'll just have to wait for the season 6 premier on September 24. Can't wait! :)

Me Mommy and you Daddy??

2009-07-31T12:19:00.004+08:00

The bf made me angry yesterday... he's not able to make it back AGAIN this weekend. It irritates the hell out of me when people promise you but then don't deliver... >(

Anyhow, in order to "fuse my fire", this is what he sent me:

Title: Please don't be mad at me dear
" Just now Nici just told me he miss you alot.. and he wants me to apologize to you.. and that he saw that I'm so sad, because of missing you so much and having a hard time at work, so he decided to apologize on behalf of me to you, 'mommy please forgive daddy, daddy is out there making money so that we can have a better living next time.' Dear, please don't be mad at me k? Love and miss you a lot.."

This is Nici, the tiny lion ~~ROAR

So, when did I become mommy and you daddy? And to my lions? Hmm... I thought I was the only crazy one who talks to my toy lions... now you? Too much Penang air I reckon...

But in the end.... I think it's sweet of you, adapting to my silliness.... Thank you ling... and for the record, I was pissed because you didn't keep your promise... for 3 weeks straight!!

Not too bad for a Fiday morning

2009-07-31T11:29:00.002+08:00

Ahh... July 31... who would had known that this day will arrive so soon.. and to think that I was eagerly counting down the days just 2 weeks ago... how time flies by...

Woke up this morning first to the bf's morning call, but than as usual, recently I've been falling back asleep... but today's real morning call came so unexpectedly (well, kinda, sorta.. I was half expecting the call)! Guess who's going for an interview this coming Tuesday? Haha.... and the best part? It's from a company that I half hoped I get. :D

Okay, an interview doesn't mean I will get the job but I just can't help it! I need to spill a little beans here on why I'm so excited about this job... Firstly, because it's in Klang! Haha... Well, it's not in Klang, Klang like Klang town or far far away deep in dunno how many miles Klang. It's actually in one of Klang's more 'happening' builings and area - Centro. So not bad huh? Secondly, imagine how much I can save every month! Only around 10km from home, which means I can save on petrol; no parking fee - no more 6 freaking bucks a day; no more 4.20 toll a day! Woohoo! How super cool is that! I'm soooo keeping my fingers cross for this job... well, even though I don't and won't know will I like it there... but I'm really looking at the more positive side of it. :)

That is one (BIG) thing that made my morning today, but there are also a few tinnier things that made it so perfect like now... Traffic wasn't that bad (took only 50 minutes to get to work), and I won't let 1 stupid grey Proton Savvy spoil it; my boss (ex-boss to be in another 6 hours) wasn't as bitchy as I thought he would be when I had him sign my very last invoice. He tried to make nice little small talk... Oh well, what ever... And... I'm not Wi-filess! The IT dude changed the position of the router yesterday and I really thought what a sucky day I'm going to have as a last day today, but who knew that he changed it back! (Thumbs up for you Deva) :D

See! Not too bad huh? No more job reqs...I'm just going to plain surf the net the whole day today, then go for my free McD dinner later...

Me hearts today... ~♥

JINX!!!

2009-07-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

Jinx!! Totally totally jinxed!! The boyfriend was (yes! WAS) to come back this weekend, but now, it's uncertain AGAIN! Every time when he had made plans to come back and is feeling positive about it... BOOM! Something will come up. Apparently this time, the big client boss is back at the site... hmmph! The same person who made the bf miss his trip back a few weeks ago... SOOO ANGRY!!!! See! It's jinxed! He cannot want to come back... It happens every single time for the past 3-4 weeks already!

So what killing 5 birds with one stone now? No bird with no stone sounds more like it now... Another 2 events to add to the list that he'll be missing: My last day and my farewell McD dinner!

SOOO ANGRY!!!!! JINX!! JINX!!

Work your PR skills girl! - NOT!!

2009-07-29T18:29:00.003+08:00

It's about time I swipe out my PR skills and start pulling strings... or what so ever little skills I have to be more certain...aye... I never like to do PR.

I'm a shy person. My skin is not thick enough. I don't know how to start a conversation or blend into one, or even end one or prolong it... gosh! I sure suck!

Anyhow, the reason being is because, I dunno, at the spur of a moment, I just suddenly msg-ed my ex-boss from McCann. At first I tried to be all friendly and ask how's work, then be professional and ask about more work.. then suddenly I blurted out the question! "Do you have a job for me?" Huh? OMG! What was I thinking! The next thing I knew, after answering my other questions about work plus a question in between back to me asking me "I tot you already have a job?"...... (silence... no clicking sound to indicate a reply....silence...) There. Offline.

Did he do that on purpose? Or was he really busy? He did mention that he was really busy that was why he only replied my msg after like 2-3 hours? How now? How? Maybe he's like me? I do go offline all of the sudden all the time when I'm busy. Right? Right? Did I irritate him? He's already sooo busy and the last thing he needed was me trying to pull strings! How? How?? :'(

Arrrgh!!! What did I just do! I'm no PR person, so why in hell did I go budge my nose into that area? See! Now what's going to happen? Surely he's thinking now that I'm the type of person who only comes to you when there is a favor needed! But. but, I'm not.... seriously.... That is why I hate PR in the first place! Cause this IS what I think of people who PR... *sigh.......

1 more page!

2009-07-29T14:45:00.003+08:00

Why do we always keep the hardest one to the last? My portfolio is nearly done, but just missing one more page,one very important page. The Nescafé page... I know that this page is the weakest one among the rest design wise, but branding and experience wise, I think that it is very strong. Not a lot of designers my level have such vast exposure, from press to outdoor to packaging and even photo shots and TV commercials... Heck! Not even some Art Directors! Plus one which is even recognized by the client himself, may I emphasize...

So you see, this is where the problem lies. The difficultly is to portray those 3 years tastefully. Who wants to flip through pages and pages of red with no superb designing in it? Aye... I first have to compile and sort out each material then filter... It's not going to be easy... I'm so dead.... @_@III

Free dinner on Friday.. :)

2009-07-29T12:00:00.003+08:00

11.48.40 am. Received a really unexpected sms from Honey. She wants to treat all of us 'jimuis' to McD's! Haha... Really wonder why... Maybe she had a very very good day at the office? (Oh! Have I ever mentioned that she works in McD?)

Anyhow, it's little things like this that makes me feel happy and fortunate that I have friends like her in my world... It might not be a biggie (McD's only what) but I don't know.... It's the thought that counts... it's the time we get to be together, share stupid stories... laugh together, laugh at each other... :D

Oh! And the bf is invited too! See can kill 2 birds with just 1 stone. The bf promise to be back on Friday...wee... Can catch up with the girls, can pak-toh with the bf some more, oh! Can fill my stomach also leh... not forgetting that McD is "our place".... Oh! Oh! Plus my farewell! Haha! (So wu-liao -_-III) hmm... Looks like it's 5 birds with just one little tiny stone! :D

Tuesday, 28th July 2007 @ 11.52pm

2009-07-28T23:52:00.002+08:00

At this very moment, this second now, besides the fact that I just told the boyfriend that I'm tired and hitting the sack right after I hung up, he is actually reading my posts here! Yup! He's trying his best to catch up on the past year of his girlfriend.....

Good luck and love you... muaks! Happy reading! Good night... ~♥

6 months

2009-07-28T17:52:00.006+08:00

In just another 4 more days, the bf and I will be celebrating our for 6 months together! (*clap clap clap) Anyhow, I was just wondering should I finally reveal this little blog of mine to him? I did mention to him before that I blog and for a very short period of time he did pester me to tell him but stop eventually (that is one thing among soooo many other things I like about him. :) He respects me, my privacy, my space.).

So, back to the main question: should I or should I not? I personally think that I should. Reason being that I do write a lot of things that happen to me daily and at times like this when he is working out-station, its good that he knows what is happening with me.... And you know we girls, sometimes it's hard for us to tell what we really want to say and we make guys guess. And the worst thing about us is that even if he did manage to guess what's up with us, we will still say it's wrong and just continue to pout and blame... haha.... right? (Sorry girls for leaking one of our biggest secret weapon to make guys suffer... :p)... Also, it's not very fair right that my girlfriends know and he doesn't? How is a relationship going to last with 'sneaking around'?

Okay, so it's decided? Hmm.... I don't think I wrote anything bad about him before... right? Well, before we got together doesn't count! :p

So darling.... Welcome!!! :D

Clinomania

2009-07-28T11:46:00.005+08:00

Live and learn people say, and today I learnt a new thing.... about myself!

I am have Clinomania (cli•no•ma•nia), which means an excessive desire to stay in bed!

Explanation:
Clinomania comes from Greek meaning the obsession of sleeping. In fact clinomania is the extreme necessity in sleeping and the desire to stay in bed for a long time not even sleeping. In other words it is love to bed, pillows and blankets.

Usually clinomania is the reflection of psychogenic behaviour disorder. It can be explained as the desire of a person to escape from the difficulties of every-day life into the good and comfortable atmosphere of the bed. It may also be the symptom of the endogenous depression if there is also hypersomnia, organic lesion of the brain, schizophrenia. (source)

Haha.. so true... especially the part where it stated "the desire of a person to escape from the difficulties of every-day..." so true... now I know why it's hard for me to get out of bed usually when I'm sick and tired of my job... :p

He refers to her as 'Mummy'

2009-07-28T00:45:00.001+08:00

Recently I noticed that the bf have started referring to my mum as 'mummy'. He used to refer to her as 'auntie' just only a few months ago. Wonder did he notice. And if he did, why the sudden change? :)

100 days

2009-07-26T22:25:00.002+08:00

Time sure flies by fast.

Today, without us really realizing is already the 100th day since my dad passed away. According to Chinese tradition, prayers will usually be done on the 7th and 100th day after the death. So since we don't really pray at home, mum and I went to the temple to do so this evening.

Bought some flowers to be 'given'.

You know, superstition is a funny thing. We Chinese believe that the dead will come talk to us in our dreams if they want to send a message. And usually it will happen on more important days. For instance, I did dream about my dad on the 7th day after his death. We believe that it was him telling us that he is already gone. Today, mum told me that she dreamed of him last night. I believe that he was telling her to remember his 100th day today. :)

I never knew how to really prayed. You see, my generation now days are not really exposed to all these joss stick burning stuff, unless if you yourself insist to learn. Is there a proper way to hald the joss sticks? How many times to bow? How many sticks? I have no clue. I remembered asking mum when I was young, if I prayed (as in do a monologue in my heart as if I'm 'talking') in English, will he/she/it understand? Mum's reply was 'yes' because they are all a 'higher-power'. Till today, I'm still not really convinced.

Anyhow, because I'm a illiterate to all these, I just followed and imitated what mum did. I let her do all the 'talking' and I just stood beside. And finally after placing the last joss stick and burning the 'money', we thought, why try the 'fortune-telling-shake-bamboo-sticks-thingy' (sorry, I have no clue how to describe this in English and too bad no photography was allowed in the prayer foyer). Again, mum did all the 'talking' and I did the shaking. She asked about if dad was alright in the other world and has he moved on. Finally the bamboo stick which fell out from the cylinder stated no.17 and this was what no.17 paper said (points below).

My mandarin is not that good but roughly it all says good.

Mum's happy and so am I. We hope that dad knows where he went wrong in this life and will and have moved on to be a better person in his next. :)

Yasmin Ahmad

2009-07-26T01:29:00.002+08:00

Just came back from a yum-cha session with the gang and to now find that Yasmin Ahmad is gone?? We were just talking about her just now.... I'm shocked! Seriously, this news to me is even bigger than Michael Jackson's.

If given chance, I would had really hoped that one day I could work with her, well everyone in the Advertising and Design industry would love to do that. But too bad, there will not be that chance anymore.

I remember Yasmin was the name of a famous Advertising and Design person, an idol I named when Joseph, my Corporate Identity lecturer then in One Academy pass us a slip of paper in our very first class with him asked us this question "Who in Advertising and Design is your inspiration?" That was 7 years ago.

I also remember how jealous I was when a few of my classmates then had the chance to interview her for a project. In the video they took, she really seemed really friendly. But I too met her once before when in McCann I think 2 years ago. She came to see Hwa and me being at the correct place, at the correct time, I was the one who opened the door for her and invited her in. I remember her speaking to me in Mandarin. That was my closest encounter with her.

There are numerous stories about her spreading in the industry. Good or bad, news about her always catches people's attention. But funnily, no one ever talks bad about her.... People who has met her and worked with her before always say that is is always jovial. Even in pictures, she is never seen 'normal' or 'serious'. I bet she is surely the life of the party....

It's really sad to hear someone so prominent in this industry gone. Everyone and anyone on the streets will tell you that the festivals in Malaysia will never be the same anymore without her commercials, but to us in the industry, it's more than that, something so profound that it's hard to explain, like a spirit.

There is nothing left to be said and done now.... the only thing we can do now is to thank her for all the inspiration she has given us through out her life and hope to keep on learning from her even if she is not here anymore.... You will surely be missed...

Scratch and run

2009-07-25T19:12:00.007+08:00

Yesterday night after dinner with the KL gang in SS2's 'Wai Sek Kai', as usual after dinner, we will always detour to our favorite 'yum cha' place, Yuppie Ice for some Advertising gossip...

The night went really well... till when I came out and found my car scratched! My baby's butt was scratched by a 'scratch and runner'!! :(

The damage

After a shower and polishing... so deep the scar.... the is no way to save this anymore... the paint is already gone... :(

Okay, I admit that I did park illegally, but I swear that when I parked my car, a Wira pass through nicely. The driver didn't have a single bit of difficultly making that corner into the lane... but this feller (male or female, I don't care) who drives a white car (I assume from the residue left) is one damn lousy driver! Cannot even estimate! Gosh!

Well, anyhow, I think both parties are to blame, me parking illegally and that feller is a lousy driver! So in conclusion, lesson learned:

ALWAYS FIND FOR PROPER PARKING IN SS2, EVEN IF YOU ARE CONFIDENT THAT ILLEGAL SPOT IS SAFE TO PARK, DRIVERS THERE... NOT SO HAPPENING.

~ A public service reminder brought to you by YuKiSu

借我一輩子

2009-07-24T13:34:00.003+08:00

借我一輩子 = Lend me for the rest of your life

Just heard that song over the radio on the way to work. It's by Gary Chaw (曹格). A very talented Malaysian singer who made it big in Taiwan, and I must add one of my idols.

Before the song was played, the was a short intro to it. It started with a question why "lend"? Aren't you suppose to "give"? Isn't suppose to say "I give you the rest of my life"? It's more romantic like this right? But when Gary explained the whole meaning behind it.... it does make sense. It surely does not sound so romantic up front, but it sure is with it's explanation.

"借我一輩子"因為借了就要換回。那麼這個樣子，我們就可以戀愛兩輩子咯！

"Because you will have to pay me back. Therefore, we will then be able to love each other again in our next life"

"I'll be back this weekend"

2009-07-23T17:01:00.002+08:00

... that was what the boyfriend said... yesterday night, and last week, and 2 weeks ago! I have not seen him for nearly a month now (25 days to be exact). Over all, that project had put him nearly 400km away from each other for more than a month already , and he's still not done! He used to be only 20km and a 1 buck toll away...

Now he says that he will only be coming back next week... and it's not for good! Only back over the weekends and he might still need to be 400km away on weekdays! Hmmph! I didn't 'sign-up' to be in a long distance relationship...

He had already missed me being ill for a week, to bring me for my ENT appointment, HIS own birthday, me resigning and I'm sick again now! Not forgetting all the movies that we were supposed to catch.... Bring my boyfriend back already.... pls... I miss him.... I need him to accommodate the other side of my bad over the weekends... :(

To stay or not to stay?

2009-07-23T13:54:00.002+08:00

Just bumped into an ex-colleague downstairs. He tells me that the agency he's in now is hiring. Interested? Well, he's one good sales person and after like 5 minutes, I was tempted. Why the hesitation you ask? Well, the office is on the 17th floor.... and yes! Only 6 floors up in this very same building! Which means that I would still have to pay 6 bucks a day parking... now you get the picture... And the air quality? Will it be the same here?

But then, apparently it's quite relaxing there (according to him, let's call him A), as in people there are quite laid back. You have time for life! No wonder Simon, even though he's on the X-pack account still manage to hit the gym nearly every lunch hour.... A says that you can talk terms, like maybe not to work on the X-pack account, or weekends.... or hey! Maybe even a parking card! See! Then I can save there! Even if not, my pay will be higher d right?

But, agency again? Hmm.... I don't really mind if it's like what I do in McCann, but better, not so dead. Maybe like Vibes, but not so sucky la.....

How ar?? A says he will look out for me... what if? What if? Excited yet scared.... Geez.....

Shhh.....

2009-07-22T17:31:00.003+08:00

One of the reasons why I want out of this place:

It's damn bloody quiet! No music, no talk. Only the sounds of squeaky chairs and mouse clicks. Damn! I can even hear my music from my earphones on the table!

And you call this an Agency? Cis! More like a strict China factory to me!

So efficient!

2009-07-22T17:15:00.001+08:00

8 jobs done in 6 hours!

Beat that!

So efficient!

Can go home d.... :D

Soooo stubborn!

2009-07-21T17:59:00.002+08:00

Why... Why won't you just go away? You are making me so miserable... I feel so depressed every time i see you, don't you know that? They are all waiting, just patiently waiting for you to leave so that they can finally 'come out'. Do you know that the others are being blamed because of you? I know that he is just the messenger, but... you see! Because he has no choice, it's his job. He too wish to bring me good news, but you never let him... why?

Why are you still haunting me? What good is it that you are here? I'm really trying my best, my very very best to make you go away... but no... you are just soooo stubborn....

...

you

...

stubborn

...

stubborn

...

stubborn

....

1 kg!!

Speaking from the heart

2009-07-21T17:51:00.000+08:00

"I love love to eat but it always makes me fat."

So true..... no?

To go or not to go....

2009-07-21T12:57:00.003+08:00

Opinion: Do you think I should ditch half day of work and go up to Penang again for the weekend?

Well, my main concern is not really work but more to mum. I feel kinda bad to leave her alone at home over the weekend. She will worry if I'm left alone at home because I'm young female and it's dangerous, but mum's a female too... what makes you think that being older means you are safer?

If the boyfriend is free for the weekend, he should then come home right? He have been there for a whole month already! It's time to come home...

Okay. Decided. Not going. Stay back and do homely stuff.... and hopefully the bf will come home... :)

Yes! I did it!

2009-07-20T19:13:00.002+08:00

Finally! After all my lame excuses the past weeks, I finally gained up all my courage and did it! I'm free..... free.....

It was not as bad as I thought it would be....

Well, looks like I better rush up on my portfolio super duper ASAP now...

But still... I'm free.... free..... :)

Dance with my father

2009-07-18T01:13:00.007+08:00

I always loved this song and today when my colleague suddenly played it, my eyes became extra watery, extra fast.

...............

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Luther Vandross - Dance with my father

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spun me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love to dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me (yeah, yeah)
Then finally make me do just what my momma said
Later that night, when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal
One final glance
One final step
One final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
Cause I'd love love love to dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I'd pray for her even more than me (2x)

I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she' s dying to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

...............

This is like only the 2nd time I heard this song since my father passed away 3 months ago. Maybe because I'm PMS-ing but I just felt so much emotion when ever the chorus came.

"If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love to dance with my father again"

I don't know... he was never really a father, but no matter what, he IS still my father and I know deep deep down in me, as much as I will never admit, I somehow hoped that he would change, I could introduce him to my boyfriend, my husband. We might not stay together, but if I were to bump into him, I would acknowledge. I would visit him often if he was put into a home... I never ever expected hi to leave so soon.... mand just like in the lyrics, " If I could get another chance..."

If I didn't work

2009-07-16T12:59:00.003+08:00

If I stopped working in advertising, I would want to make traveling my full time job ( but if only I have the moolah >_<). That would be a dream come true... But deep down some where hidden at a tiny corner of my brain, there is always this dream of mine to open up a little café, a cake shop... a cozy tiny little place where mummy and I can sell our bakes, a simply place. No heavy cooked food. Maybe some simply home cooked dishes once in a while, but mostly cakes and cookies. We will only bake and cook a limited amount daily, so that our food is always fresh. We can place some table and chairs, like an 'arty' cafe where people can come and hang around. Only fresh original ingredients are used. So it's purely 100% home made.

Besides that, I can still continue to do design by designing the store and packaging. I would be my own client and do my own critique. I can finally express my thoughts in art and design. There are so many concepts in my mind right now.... The place has to look simple, easily maintained. White is a good concept but not for my place. How long can white stay white, right? Because I also want to do my little part in helping the environment, my store concept will be environmental friendly. but this does not mean it has to look woody, ala Starbucks etc.... I can play with that idea on my packaging. Only brown biodegradable material is used. And design wise, less is more. Back to the basics. Silk screen printing.

The furniture. Even though I would like the place to be cozy, I don't think sofas are a good idea. It would be hard to maintain. No one wants to sit on a couch with multiple stains and smell right? We can have padded chairs instead. Maybe each table has it's own little theme, like 'love zone' or '80's zone' etc.. Then each 'zone' will be decorated following it's theme, but not too heavy. Less is more remember.

Also, we can have a patio area. Hmm... so it would be great if we can rent a place on the 1st floor. Not too high... no one wants to climb up so may flights of stairs just to chill. The patio can be a smoking area (maybe not too because maybe our little place is a non smoking place). The main reason for the outdoor patio is for people like me who are afraid of the cold.

I would not want the place to be crowded. So there will only be a minimalistic of seating area. Then at a corner, I can maybe collaborate with some bookstore to sell some design books and nick-nacks.

This is only a rough idea and though of my little once-in-a-while-forgotten-dream. If it could really come true... wouldn't it be amazing...

Because I couldn't sleep

2009-07-16T10:45:00.002+08:00

... I planned my 3-months-away Bangkok Trip all over again (again!)
... I tossed and turned
... I did 20 sit-ups, 3 minutes bicycle paddle, 3 minutes leg lifts
... I went through my finances (again!)
... I organized my wallet
... I doodled
... I craved for nasi lemak
... I played with my lions
... I reorganized my whole phone book
... I thought about painting my nails
... I did a rough monologue in my head about this post

I swear that I did not drink a single drop of coffee the whole day! I swear! But why couldn't I fall asleep? All I drank was a cup of milk tea for dinner.... please don't tell me that I cannot drink tea now too! Is my caffeine tolerance that low? When did it became that low? Not a week ago... tea???

OMG! What's happening to my body??

Today was the day

2009-07-15T20:02:00.002+08:00

Remember my Bahasa post 2 days ago? Remember what the content was? (*click here to refresh your memory) Well, today was supposed to be THE day, but I still haven't done it yet. ...aye... why? Honestly I don't know. Maybe there is that little part of me that is afraid that I don't have a net to fall on after here... how la?

Tomorrow? Tomorrow sounds good? right? right? Besides, I said 2 weeks notice right? And start next Monday, it is still 2 weeks.... or worst comes to worst... one week notice.... can? ;p

I have a follower??

2009-07-15T13:22:00.003+08:00

Okay.... never ever has it crossed my mind that people will actually read my blog, well, besides a few of my very very close friends whom I told... but I now have a follower?? And someone who I don't know! It's really weird... weird in a sense that there are (more to 'is' now) people/strangers who reads about my life, thoughts and opinions and are actually interested....

When I first saw the (very new to me) green human icon on my dashboard page, the first person who came to mind was Honey. She did mention recently that she's re-blogging again and is in the mist of setting up her page. But wow... I'm still trying my best to digest this newly found 'excitement'.

Anyhow, a bit about my follower. His name is Stephen and I think he's from Australia. This is what he says about himself: " I am a 62 year old male,married with two grown up children I am semi retired, I do two days work per week at travellers aid in the city. My hobby is bird watching,and trips in the country. I am Charismatic, funny, articulate, brilliant, intelligent,and ,according to my grandchildren a boring fuddyduddy.I think they have a point."

Well, it's kinda funny that my follower (Man! I got to stop emphasizing on this.. so embarrassing...) is an old man. Why would a semi retired man be interested in a my blog? I have this mix feeling of weirdness and at the same time admiration. If only my mum was this tech savvy.....

Still a bit dumbfounded, "Welcome Stephen! Thank you for finding what I write interesting. Enjoy reading! :)"

But then again, maybe he 'ter-press' the follow button and is not really interested leh.... hmm.... dun bother. I'll still continue blogging for that reason why I started. :)

A picture paints a thousand words....

2009-07-14T17:39:00.005+08:00

...... and make your sappy lovey-dovey hormones wake up and jump around giving you mix feelings and 'bungee jumpy' heart....

Turbo... where are you?

2009-07-14T16:13:00.003+08:00

It's days like this that I really wish that there is this turbo button that I can just press and make everything go faster....

Not only my day at work is slow, internet is slow too, time is even slower!! Another 2 more hours before I can flee.... God.... It's so gong to feel like forever.....

*Crazily press imaginary turbo (x 1000000000000 times)...... damn! Still not working... -_-III

NaÏve

2009-07-13T23:11:00.002+08:00

As promised this afternoon...ta-da! Me favorite book of the moment! :)

Awe.... isn't she pretty (yes! it's a she... it's printed obviously on the cover...hello...)

It was like love at first sight... The moment I flipped through it and saw this 2 pages... I knew I had to have her.... *heart melts.....

You might think I'm crazy... but.... *heart melts (x2)

Me happys!

2009-07-13T17:04:00.003+08:00

Me happys because me just bought new design book! It's been a while since I bought a new book...

Will upload pics of it tonight if I remember and not too lazy... ;p

So the happys!!!! :D

p/s: Super happy posts deserves to be PINK! wee.....

Closed door

2009-07-13T15:23:00.003+08:00

Hari-hari tutup pintu. Patutlah semua orang tak gembira kerja kat sini. You nak merajuk sebab banyak orang resign sekali... well, tanyalah diri sendiri ini salah siapa?

I tak kisah sebernanya you tutup pintu ke tidak... yang buat saya tak begitu selesa adalah kerana dengan pintu yang ditutupi itu menambah lagi banyak stress saya untuk menberitahu dia bahawa saya pun sudah nak resign.

Help me! 2 more days till I gather up all my courage, and even if I don't happen to have any on that day, I still have to tell. Door closed or not.... :(

A layer of blurry white

2009-07-13T13:28:00.003+08:00

Funny that I didn't notice it the whole drive through to work... till I finally looked out of the office window from the 11th floor.... Man! Does the sky look dreamy.... but too bad we're not in fantasy land.... apparently the haze is back!

Great! Hope my nose is not planning for a full 'blown out' sneezy running orchestra.... -_-III

Saya tak suka malam Ahad! Sangat tak suka!

2009-07-12T23:54:00.003+08:00

Urrgh! I dread and hate Sunday nights!

Sleep always seem shorter than usual, even if you slept for 12 hours. Tomorrow morning comes just too soon! And the fact that I have to be cooped up in that very unhealthy working place (both mentally and physically wise unhealthy) for 10 hours.... arrgh!!! I just feel like pulling all my hair off!

Why aren't I able to find my perfect career path yet? Is it that so hard to find or am I too picky?? :(

Hmm... looks like my "quarter life crisis" is back..... selamat pulang!! >_<

Time for a change

2009-07-10T02:47:00.003+08:00

I think it's about time I changed my header and water mark. The paint splash identity is starting to look kinda weak to me. Okay, very weak! The splashes on my pictures are starting to get on my nerves....

When I got the time la!

But I never have time! I don't even have the time to clean up my career!

God! Gotta organize and prioritize my time better.... help............

REISE399 @ RM389

2009-07-10T02:11:00.004+08:00

... that is how much a Braun Buffel men's wallet cost! Quite the ex rite? Even I don't own such an expensive purse! My Guess was bought of a warehouse sale at RM50 only leh! Where can like that?? I rarely (or never) ever spend so much on another person besides myself. Haha... I'm so full of myself. ;p But anyhow, for my love and to see a smile on his face every time he uses it, it's worth every single penny. :D

Silver paper bag with gold stamping of the Buffalo logo

But not just any cheapo paper okay... got changgih-changgih texture one some more

It's a present so have to wrap lor... FOC :)

Finally, the actual product. Braun Buffel REISE series 399.

Apparently, this 399 is the latest latest edition to the REISE series that it's not even featured on their website yet (http://www.braunbuffel-asiapac.com/).

Did you know, all BB products are guaranteed for life. You can just drop by any of it's stores nation wide to get it polished. Plus, it's also guaranteed for life. If there are some thread or default to the logo etc., you can always send it back for fixing (a cost might be charged depending on the damage la).

I'm very happy with my purchase. A bit over my budget, but it's okay. Me likes it very much.... hope he likes it too! :)

Happy Birthday darling! ~~♥

Typical Malaysians

2009-07-09T00:32:00.002+08:00

Over heard a conversation between colleague J and Z just minutes before I packed and left. Z was teaching J some tricks on how to distortion in Illustrator.

5 minutes after the tutorial...

J: Eh! How again ar?? Why I cannot 'lai' d one? How to 'lai'?

Dah lah ber-slang Malaysian, but how to 'lai'?? haha.... damn funny!

This is what happens when you are Malaysian.

And FYI, 'lai' (拉) reads 'la' in Mandarin 'lai' in Cantonese and it means 'pull/drag'.

FAIL

2009-07-08T23:35:00.003+08:00

I'd rather read other people's blog than to blog on my own space.

So the fails...... :s How to be a blogger like that? And even though of earning extra cash from it!

PUH-LEEEE-SEEEEEE!!!!!

"Sau Pei La!" (which means 'please keep up your skin' in China, which translating it to proper England means "Dream on", for you non slit eyes readers.)

Stuffed

2009-07-07T13:36:00.002+08:00

1/2 a cup of instant mushroom soup and 4 pieces or soda biscuits.

Soooooo no fun. :(

Minus 5

2009-07-07T12:01:00.002+08:00

After 5 days of hibernating and still I dreaded to come in to work today morning. I'm suppose to feel more alive and fresher.... but instead, I'm still as tired as the first day. Worst still, I'm feeling feverish. Don't know is it real fever or it's my body releasing heat to keep my body warm from the air-cond.

Besides that, is it me or does the roads seem more dangerous than 5 days before? Even though the traffic was relatively smooth this morning, but the drivers.... horrible! No penitence, no courtesy!

5 hours count down till the "ice machine" is turned off.
6 hours count down till I can go home..... which is equivalence to 360 minutes... so long.... :(

15%

2009-07-07T01:06:00.001+08:00

How la.... 15% only... maybe lesser some more.... how to finish on time?

*Help??

Diagnose please...

2009-07-06T00:16:00.002+08:00

Fever only in the evenings (around 6-7pm).
Itchiness over the body only in the evenings too.

*Plus* headache (like pliers clipping head) occasionally.

*New* just 15 seconds ago sharp sudden pains in ear.

AdSense

2009-07-04T18:35:00.003+08:00

Never saw this tab before also wan? So itchy hand went and click on it. Next thing I know, I'm signing up for this earn money online ad space for my blog.

Macamla I have a very big fan base.... oh well.... we'll see la.... maybe someday, one day, I'll get a cheque in the mail... that should be quite a nice surprise. :)

Where to start?

2009-07-04T18:16:00.003+08:00

Update resumé = checked.

List of past jobs/projects = checked.

Shortlisted interested jobs/vacancies/Agencies = checked.

Reorganize portfolio = lazy... -_-III

Aye.... how la like that.... but my head hurts now and I feel the fever coming back.... T_T

Any good people who are good at organizing, Apple savvy and knows know to use Adobe professional suite willing to help me out?? pls.......0.0♥ (okay...if you don't get what that means, it's me doing big puppy dog eyes with love.....)

I tidak berduit banyak but I can feed you..... sushi? Cakes? Pasta? Thankyouverymuchyou!!

p/s: when I said "I", I actually meant mummy.... hey! You don't expect little sicky-weaky me to cook for you right? *cough cough (see! I'm even coughing!)

K.O. x2

2009-07-03T21:43:00.003+08:00

I've been out for 2 days straight. Mentally felling better but body's still blinking red light (like Ultraman).

Restless. Have craving for lots and lots of different food but will feel disgusted in a split second.

Feel like going on a long break. Go for a holiday and not think about my finances. Just want to splurge and not have a care in the world.

But the internet is not helping much. Slow connection and there is noting that catches my interest. Life's not very happening now.

The weather! Urgh! Don't even start with the weather!

I just don't want to be in this dimension right now!

Swollen eyes

2009-07-03T01:11:00.003+08:00

Sound like some sappy country love song? Well I just wish it was! Yesterday (I meant Wednesday), which means 2 days ago since it's already 1.15am now, I started feeling a fever coming on and I had joint aches. Besides that, I've not been sleeping well for the past 2 nights either. I kept waking up in the middle of the night and couldn't seem to fall back asleep. I was feeling so restless. Also, I've been feeling dizzy recently, as in all of the sudden, I will loose my balance, standing or sitting. I will just sway.

Anyway, me being kinda paranoid about the recent A(H1N1) virus spreading around and I had 3 of of the 5 symptoms ( fever, joint pain and cough), I finally decided to go seek a doctor.

Wednesday (1 July) @ 8.45pm: Went to the doctor's. Told him all my symptoms. He had this look on his face that I'm 100% not infected by the flu, but he kept asking me am I married. Huh? Okay, It's normal procedure for him to ask me this in case if I was pregnant and there are certain medication that I cannot take. But when he next told me... I nearly fell of my chair. According to him, feeling dizzy and vomitish for no reason is actually a symptom of morning sickness. Ha! Me pregnant? My doctor is a funny man. But doctor, I don't get dizzy only in the morning, and I did you hear me say that I vomited? And.... my dizziness is more of a swaying, not the room spinning.... geez...... why never listen finish only diagnose one?? So kam cheong for what? Anyhow, after we clarified that I'm not pregnant and I my blood pressure is also normal, he then gave me some paracetamol, pain killers and cough pills and I was good to go.

Wednesday (1 July) @ 9.30pm: After food, took the pills as prescribed. Checked to see again if the pills given was correct (Side track a bit. I'm actually allergic to Panadol (the paracetamol brand) and Ponstant (the pain killer brand). This doctor of mine is aware of this (that's why I only go to him) and he is always very careful when prescribing drugs for me.) 2 paracetamol, 1 pain killer and 1 cough pill after meal, swolled and after 1/2 an hour, I was feeling a bit drowsy. Should be the cough pills. Went to bed.

Wednesday (1 July) @ 10.57pm: Woke up to feel irritation to my eyes. Looked intot he mirror and OMG!! My eyes were swollen!! Asked mummy to rush me back tot he clinic. Luckily the clinic was not closed yet.

taken at 11.30pm

The doctor scrtached his head as I scratched my itcy body. How could this happen? He did not prescribe me any wrong medicine. And I totally agree. But why is this still happening? Aye... solution was either a jab or pills. I took the pills (jabs creeps the hell out of me!)

the culprit

Wednesday (1 July) @ 11.30pm: Took down evidence of the whole drama and also swolled my pills. Hope that it works and helps lessen the swelling. If not, I have to go back for that jab. Slept like a dead goldfish after that.

Man! Those was some super powerful drugs. I pratically slept throught the whole day. When I finally woke up after nearly 17 hours, this was how I look like.

1 eye's back to normal but the other... er.... still not very happening la....

26 hours later. This is how it looks like now.

Looks pretty normal back d rite?

Aye.... the only thing I can think of now is of all the pain I have to go through next time. No drugs.... then deliver time ma die lor..... :( aye.......

Post Super Size

2009-07-01T10:44:00.003+08:00

Finally caught Morgan Spurlock's "Super Size Me" (ya... I know I'm kinda (super) out dated) 2 weeks ago when I visited Darling in Penang.

Heard loads of disgusting horror stories about the "documovie" but you'll really have to watch it for yourself to really understand how bad it is.... seriously... McD is disgusting! Can't believe that I was actually once addicted to it! (proof here and here)

Anyhow, it has been weeks since I last ate McD, and since watching it, my craving for it, on a scale of 1(barf)-10(drool).... I'm at 0/1. Yup! That's how big the impact it was to me.... but today.... I woke up super hungry as I didn't ate anything at all yesterday the whole day, litterally. So I decidid to have breakfast. I wanted something simply, fast, easy, with meat.... Rotiboy's sandwiches was the first thing that came to mind... but there is no Rotiboy near by. I didn't want to go over to Bukit Tinggi's bakery because I didn't want to detour so I tought maybe just try my luck at any el chepo bakery in front of my Taman... but tak buka! Ish!! Only stores opened: Mamak, wet market... and McD's! Damn! I was in quite a hurry so befor my brain can start debating, my legs are already walking through the door and my mouth's already ordering!

Fine lor.... McD's mar McD's lor rite? Incase it's 'quite' a sandwich rite? Meat in between 2 pieces of bread - Sandwich!

Now, nearly 2 hours later after I took my final bite... I feel like puking! The smell's not as tempting as it used to be anymore..... It now smells.... foul to me. How can fresh cooked warm food smell bad?

Conclusion... at this moment now.... McD's (and any other fast food)... you are EVIL... EVIL...

Bloody Hell

2009-06-12T12:52:00.003+08:00

Bloody hell! WTF!! It's not that I don't want to do it but how you said it... damn bloody hell!

"I have no mood to do now and I'm going out for lunch. I need it ASAP."

WTF!! At 12.30pm you tell me this? Just because I don't usually go for lunch doesn't mean that I don't deserve my 1 hour lunch time. And what I do during that 1 hour is none of your business! If you were to come to me (even if it was lunch hour), I would had did it for you... but after what you said... sorry man! Just because you are not happy doesn't mean you can f*#k other people k? Who the hell do you think you are?

So what I'm just sitting around doing nothing? Well, then go ask your brilliant boss! Why was I hired? You hire me but then you don't know how to utilize your man power. And by utilizing you man power, it doen't give you the right to do what you just did!

Damn bloody hell!!! Why in the world am I still doing here??

Watery eyes

2009-05-11T16:52:00.003+08:00

I'm not the type of girl who wet tissue papers and kill trees over sappy dramas. But last week's Grey's Anatomy episode (What a Difference a Day Makes), I had watery eyes.... It was, sad and touching and happy all jumbled up together.

So I officially declare (in my personal ISO standards) this episode deserves 5 huge EMO stars!!

Man, this Shonda Rhimes lady is one crazeeee writer!

Love it!!

Malaysian style

2009-05-05T12:42:00.002+08:00

And what do Malaysians do on long weekends?

ROAD TRIP!

I have just came to find out that a bunch of them went down to Malacca; another bunch did a makan trail to Seremban and Malacca; some went fishing in Ipoh; another makan group went up north to Penang, stopping by Ipoh; a 11 people group went on a photography trip to Terengganu and as for me, I went to Terengganu too. How about all those groups and groups of bikers flocking the highway?

Some travel to go back home and some just want to travel. I am new to this 'culture' and I'm slowing adapting to it. The long hour ass grueling car ride and dirty R&R toilets....we do it over and over again every chance we get an why? Simple...

Sebab kita orang Malaysia! :)

Hope he doesn't fly here

2009-04-29T12:02:00.002+08:00

So true huh? The play of the English language can sometimes be so fun. :)

p/s: I did not design that. Found it online and thought it was something worth sharing.

Aftermath

2009-04-23T18:03:00.003+08:00

Happened. Done. Finish. Gone.

Died. Cried. Prayed. Burned.

He was dead when alive, and now alive when dead.
3 days, and now it's all ended. Life back to normal. Work on weekdays, play on weekends.
It feels so surreal. Not everyone knows and maybe one day, someone will come up on the street and ask me how he is.

I'm feeling better now. Finally digesting the past 3 days. Accepting it. Moving on.... but yet, I still sleep with my lights on.

A first time for everything

2009-04-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

Today, for the first time, I had lunch... alone.

I'm never the type of person who does things alone outside. How do I explain this? I consider myself a loner but at the same time, I never liked doing things by myself out of my comfort zone. To be more precise, I love spending me time alone at home. I don't mind not getting any sunshine at all for 2-3 days. I can hibernate at home and is okay with it. But, going out alone... not really me. I hate being alone in a crowded place with people. I hate looking like the loner. I always feel like as if people are looking at me. It makes me feel so pathetic. With that said, that is why I also cannot stand the fact if I know anyone doing things alone... catching a movie alone, eating alone... maybe this is how I look at people so therefore this is how I feel that people will look at me.

But today, all I knew was that I needed to get out of the office. I just couldn't stand sitting there anymore. So I took a deep breath of courage, took my purse, took the lift down and walked. I usually end up not going far and just only to the bakery and pack some bread back up stairs, but today, I continued walking. I walked and I came to McDonald's. It was terrifying at first thinking that people will stare at this pathetic loner having lunch on her own, but then I realized that no body actually really bothered. There were other people who was having their lunch alone too.

In the end, I actually had a nice time. Sitting there alone gave me the chance to just look at people, read their body language, learn human life, how humans communicate. It was actually really relaxing, given sitting in such a noisy and crowded place.

After today, I admit that I will still feel a sinking feeling if I see people doing things alone, and I will try to not criticize. And maybe once in a while, I will go have lunch by myself.

Funeral-ess death

2009-04-21T00:33:00.002+08:00

They have arranged everything as they do not want us to be involved.
Just take it easy and continue with our work like any other day.

Mummy @ 10.27am

How do I explain a funeral-ess death? Because of that, I took the day off work today. I really don't know how to explain my situation to the people around me. I didn't even inform everyone of my friends, heck! I didn't even tell all my sisters.

I really don't know how to express what I'm feeling now. It's really difficult. You tell people about the passing and the person is expected to come pay their condolences at the wake, but there is no wake, not 'my' father's wake. There is a wake, but in the name of the Lim family loosing their son, and of course, I won't be there.

How? How is this all happening. My father died, and I am to continue living my everyday life as it it didn't happened. I will go to work tomorrow, but people will start to wonder, how do I explain? Tell them the whole story from the beginning? I'm tired. How many times must I repeat it?

It's such a f***ed up situation. When he was around, he was dead to us. But now when he is really dead, it feels like he is still alive. I don't know am I really sad, but yet I cry. And when I cry, I do feel sad. I don't feel a thing now, but I did cry just now.

I never know how he died. How do I react and answer when people ask me? What will this now effect us in the future? What have mum planned? How is she taking it? How is my brother taking it? Am I the only one mourning? But am I mourning for a man who honestly don't deserve it.... but then again, he is my father.

He was 58

2009-04-19T23:05:00.003+08:00

He was a smoker, and a body full of smoke he will always smell.
He was a gambler, and at the race course will he always be remembered.
He lived a life of a vagabond, and a vagabond he will always be remembered.
He was a lousy man, and in our hearts that is what he will always be.
He was 58, and at 58 will he always stay...

The man I'm talking about is my father, WAS my father. He passed on today.

I've never had a good relationship with my father. I knew what kind of person he was and I was never on his side. I could never understand why mum married him. I could never understand how he could do all those things he did and still forgave himself. I could never understand how he managed to live a life like that, for 58 years.

Mum, brother and I shifted away from him nearly 5 years ago. And 5 years was how long I didn't see him. But wen we were all still living under the same roof, we were already never a family. Back then, I did though of the 'what if's' before. What if I get married? Will I inform him? What if he falls really sick, on sick bed? Will I go see him? What if he died? I never thought I would had to experience any of that so soon, but now I am. I never expected myself to cry, but I did. I never expected myself to be sad, but I am.

My father was never really a father nor a husband to us. He was as useless as can be. All the pain and suffering he made us go through. Never on our side, but on he wrong side, the side that was out to hurt us. And now, he is dead, and I am here blogging about it. I don't even know what was the cause of his death, nor is there a wake for him. Are we suppose to hold the wake? Or are his family members doing it? Do they want us to claim his body? Or have they shunned us away, disowned us?

I'm actually sadden by the fact that he was so pitiful. Dying alone. Not having family with him. The only memory he have of us are the 2 pictures of my brother and I when we were 7 or 8 kept in his wallet. He made himself like that and I know pitying him is not worth it but I just can't help it. He IS my father after all.

I wonder, would he had passed on so early if we were not in this 'war'? Would he had finally changed and realized his wrongs and have another 10-20 years to live it?

Everything happens for a reason, and the only thing good he did for us next to giving us life was after he died. Because of his death, mum and I are talking again, after 3 weeks. We are hearing from my brother more often now. And the best thing, mum talked to the boyfriend today. Good manners and all. No black sulky face. No sarcasm. Looks like she is slowly giving it a try. Maybe she went to see a fortune teller by herself without me knowing, or maybe after what I told her the day we fought finally knocked some sense into her thick skull. But anyhow, I'm glad it happened. And by my father passing on is not all bad. In case he don't need to suffer living in this life of his anymore. He is finally free and hopefully he will be a better person in his next life to come.

God bless him. Thank you for saving my father.

A girl will never be lost with her girlfriends around

2009-04-19T01:14:00.002+08:00

I did not blog about it but recently, my relationship was on a rockier side. I had doubts (yes... again) and this time I really wanted to call it quits. I really didn't want to jeopardize my relationship with mum anymore. And I really thought that if doing what she wants will solve the problem, I was willing to do so.

I honestly must say that I'm very very lucky to have him. I really really appreciate him for not giving up on me, on us when I wanted to. He still put on his thickest face and hung on to us. But most importantly, I really really really appreciate my girls for talking sense into me. Without them, I don't think no matter how thick the face the bf put on, it would not had saved what we have.

Now, after 2 hours at the mamak with the girls (even though only 50% turned up), blabbing all our hearts out on our frustration, I'm able to see things clearer now. I know what I must do.

So, a big THANK YOU to you girls (you know who you are). Muaks!!!

p/s: And for those who didn't turn up, I still love you girls. ^_^

Not so mighty

2009-04-18T02:00:00.002+08:00

Damn it! My Mighty Mouse's™ scroller just died on me... again!! Hello... it's already my 2nd one in a year.

Hmm... wonder is it a full year already? Maybe it's still under warranty. Better check so that I can go change a new one (which will only last another 6 months before it dies again... but oh well, better than nothing right?).

Ugly as hell

2009-04-18T01:33:00.002+08:00

Today I received a job brief to redesign and recreate a design guide for a bunch of MATRADE booklets. The client was cooperative to give us samples of pass designs for our reference and to show us their problem about the inconstancy of every booklet.

References of pass years booklets. Not very happening looking to me.

Notice the post-it note on the cover? Let me zoom in for you to get a better look.

Is writes:
• Samples of the Products & Services booklets. MATRADE
• There's no consistency
• Ugly as hell

"Ugly as hell". Simple. Straight to the point. Idiot proof.

I now wonder, who wrote that? The servicing or the client? If it's the servicing, then why did they bother writing such a long job brief? The post-it is direct enough to explain the job exercise. But if it's the client.... Thank you God and Hallelujah!!

Man, Ugly as hell.... that's a good one. Never thought I would see that sentence in Advertising.

Sangat tak the bagus-ness

2009-04-17T10:36:00.002+08:00

How can I call myself a blogger? It's already mid April and I had only 1 pathetic post?? Such a disgrace! I'm like sedang merosakkan nama-nama baik all the other real bloggers who really blog - everyday.

I know... I've not been putting in a lot of hours since beginning of the year. Why? I also dunno... maybe it's because the whole reason I started blogging to express my frustration but now I'm not as frustrated as I was before anymore? Or I don't bother sharing my thoughts anymore? Or I'm just plain lazy? Yea..... that's it. The last question IS the answer. And that's not an excuse.

So how? So how? To continue or to stop? I really envy those 'real' bloggers who have so much to share. Their lives seem so fun... so full.... I want to be like them. Not 100% but in case give me something to write, to share.

So from now on, I am to blog everyday, at least 1 (ONE) post each day, no matter how small the matter is. I will not critique myself and think that the mater is not worth sharing. Okay? And if I don't keep this up? Er....... can I not think of the punishment now?

I will do it! Promise!! I already have something to share. Serious!!

Now I'm starting to panic a bit....

2009-04-08T14:49:00.003+08:00

On 3rd Feb 2009, I placed an order on Threadless. It's my 2nd purchase from this site. My first order in 2008 took nearly 2 months to arrive but in case it did. But this time, it has already been more than 2 months and it's still no where in sight! The best part is that this time, I paid for Postal Priority, which is suppose to arrive faster than the normal Postal Economy which I used on my first purchase.

So how now? How? I went back into their site for services and help and this is the answer I got:

How does Global Postal shipping work?

We use Mail Innovations for the International Postal option. Mail Innovations is a service provided by UPS. UPS picks up your order from our warehouse, sorts it, applies the necessary postage, and handles the order until it reaches your country. Once the order arrives in your country, it is handed off to your local post office for delivery. UPS does not deliver the order.

Postal Economy should take 1-3 weeks to be delivered and Postal Priority typically takes 5-10 days. Any postal international order can encounter numerous delays while in transit, so it is possible to take up to 5 weeks for an order to be delivered. Unfortunately, tracking information is not available for Postal shipments. The ship times given are estimates and not guaranteed.

Custom fees and additional fees may apply for international shipments. Please contact your local customs office for more information.

So die lor like that.... no shipping number.... how to track? It was suppose to be Darling's V-day present and hello.... V-day was 2 months ago already!

Pray hard and keep my fingers crossed. It not RM100 bye-bye d leh... :(