So true huh? The play of the English language can sometimes be so fun. :)p/s: I did not design that. Found it online and thought it was something worth sharing.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Hope he doesn't fly here
So true huh? The play of the English language can sometimes be so fun. :)p/s: I did not design that. Found it online and thought it was something worth sharing.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Aftermath
Happened. Done. Finish. Gone.
Died. Cried. Prayed. Burned.
Died. Cried. Prayed. Burned.
He was dead when alive, and now alive when dead.
3 days, and now it's all ended. Life back to normal. Work on weekdays, play on weekends.
It feels so surreal. Not everyone knows and maybe one day, someone will come up on the street and ask me how he is.
I'm feeling better now. Finally digesting the past 3 days. Accepting it. Moving on.... but yet, I still sleep with my lights on.
3 days, and now it's all ended. Life back to normal. Work on weekdays, play on weekends.
It feels so surreal. Not everyone knows and maybe one day, someone will come up on the street and ask me how he is.
I'm feeling better now. Finally digesting the past 3 days. Accepting it. Moving on.... but yet, I still sleep with my lights on.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A first time for everything
Today, for the first time, I had lunch... alone.
I'm never the type of person who does things alone outside. How do I explain this? I consider myself a loner but at the same time, I never liked doing things by myself out of my comfort zone. To be more precise, I love spending me time alone at home. I don't mind not getting any sunshine at all for 2-3 days. I can hibernate at home and is okay with it. But, going out alone... not really me. I hate being alone in a crowded place with people. I hate looking like the loner. I always feel like as if people are looking at me. It makes me feel so pathetic. With that said, that is why I also cannot stand the fact if I know anyone doing things alone... catching a movie alone, eating alone... maybe this is how I look at people so therefore this is how I feel that people will look at me.
But today, all I knew was that I needed to get out of the office. I just couldn't stand sitting there anymore. So I took a deep breath of courage, took my purse, took the lift down and walked. I usually end up not going far and just only to the bakery and pack some bread back up stairs, but today, I continued walking. I walked and I came to McDonald's. It was terrifying at first thinking that people will stare at this pathetic loner having lunch on her own, but then I realized that no body actually really bothered. There were other people who was having their lunch alone too.
In the end, I actually had a nice time. Sitting there alone gave me the chance to just look at people, read their body language, learn human life, how humans communicate. It was actually really relaxing, given sitting in such a noisy and crowded place.
After today, I admit that I will still feel a sinking feeling if I see people doing things alone, and I will try to not criticize. And maybe once in a while, I will go have lunch by myself.
I'm never the type of person who does things alone outside. How do I explain this? I consider myself a loner but at the same time, I never liked doing things by myself out of my comfort zone. To be more precise, I love spending me time alone at home. I don't mind not getting any sunshine at all for 2-3 days. I can hibernate at home and is okay with it. But, going out alone... not really me. I hate being alone in a crowded place with people. I hate looking like the loner. I always feel like as if people are looking at me. It makes me feel so pathetic. With that said, that is why I also cannot stand the fact if I know anyone doing things alone... catching a movie alone, eating alone... maybe this is how I look at people so therefore this is how I feel that people will look at me.
But today, all I knew was that I needed to get out of the office. I just couldn't stand sitting there anymore. So I took a deep breath of courage, took my purse, took the lift down and walked. I usually end up not going far and just only to the bakery and pack some bread back up stairs, but today, I continued walking. I walked and I came to McDonald's. It was terrifying at first thinking that people will stare at this pathetic loner having lunch on her own, but then I realized that no body actually really bothered. There were other people who was having their lunch alone too.
In the end, I actually had a nice time. Sitting there alone gave me the chance to just look at people, read their body language, learn human life, how humans communicate. It was actually really relaxing, given sitting in such a noisy and crowded place.
After today, I admit that I will still feel a sinking feeling if I see people doing things alone, and I will try to not criticize. And maybe once in a while, I will go have lunch by myself.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Funeral-ess death
They have arranged everything as they do not want us to be involved.
Just take it easy and continue with our work like any other day.
Just take it easy and continue with our work like any other day.
Mummy @ 10.27am
How do I explain a funeral-ess death? Because of that, I took the day off work today. I really don't know how to explain my situation to the people around me. I didn't even inform everyone of my friends, heck! I didn't even tell all my sisters.
I really don't know how to express what I'm feeling now. It's really difficult. You tell people about the passing and the person is expected to come pay their condolences at the wake, but there is no wake, not 'my' father's wake. There is a wake, but in the name of the Lim family loosing their son, and of course, I won't be there.
How? How is this all happening. My father died, and I am to continue living my everyday life as it it didn't happened. I will go to work tomorrow, but people will start to wonder, how do I explain? Tell them the whole story from the beginning? I'm tired. How many times must I repeat it?
It's such a f***ed up situation. When he was around, he was dead to us. But now when he is really dead, it feels like he is still alive. I don't know am I really sad, but yet I cry. And when I cry, I do feel sad. I don't feel a thing now, but I did cry just now.
I never know how he died. How do I react and answer when people ask me? What will this now effect us in the future? What have mum planned? How is she taking it? How is my brother taking it? Am I the only one mourning? But am I mourning for a man who honestly don't deserve it.... but then again, he is my father.
I really don't know how to express what I'm feeling now. It's really difficult. You tell people about the passing and the person is expected to come pay their condolences at the wake, but there is no wake, not 'my' father's wake. There is a wake, but in the name of the Lim family loosing their son, and of course, I won't be there.
How? How is this all happening. My father died, and I am to continue living my everyday life as it it didn't happened. I will go to work tomorrow, but people will start to wonder, how do I explain? Tell them the whole story from the beginning? I'm tired. How many times must I repeat it?
It's such a f***ed up situation. When he was around, he was dead to us. But now when he is really dead, it feels like he is still alive. I don't know am I really sad, but yet I cry. And when I cry, I do feel sad. I don't feel a thing now, but I did cry just now.
I never know how he died. How do I react and answer when people ask me? What will this now effect us in the future? What have mum planned? How is she taking it? How is my brother taking it? Am I the only one mourning? But am I mourning for a man who honestly don't deserve it.... but then again, he is my father.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
He was 58
He was a smoker, and a body full of smoke he will always smell.
He was a gambler, and at the race course will he always be remembered.
He lived a life of a vagabond, and a vagabond he will always be remembered.
He was a lousy man, and in our hearts that is what he will always be.
He was 58, and at 58 will he always stay...
The man I'm talking about is my father, WAS my father. He passed on today.
I've never had a good relationship with my father. I knew what kind of person he was and I was never on his side. I could never understand why mum married him. I could never understand how he could do all those things he did and still forgave himself. I could never understand how he managed to live a life like that, for 58 years.
Mum, brother and I shifted away from him nearly 5 years ago. And 5 years was how long I didn't see him. But wen we were all still living under the same roof, we were already never a family. Back then, I did though of the 'what if's' before. What if I get married? Will I inform him? What if he falls really sick, on sick bed? Will I go see him? What if he died? I never thought I would had to experience any of that so soon, but now I am. I never expected myself to cry, but I did. I never expected myself to be sad, but I am.
My father was never really a father nor a husband to us. He was as useless as can be. All the pain and suffering he made us go through. Never on our side, but on he wrong side, the side that was out to hurt us. And now, he is dead, and I am here blogging about it. I don't even know what was the cause of his death, nor is there a wake for him. Are we suppose to hold the wake? Or are his family members doing it? Do they want us to claim his body? Or have they shunned us away, disowned us?
I'm actually sadden by the fact that he was so pitiful. Dying alone. Not having family with him. The only memory he have of us are the 2 pictures of my brother and I when we were 7 or 8 kept in his wallet. He made himself like that and I know pitying him is not worth it but I just can't help it. He IS my father after all.
I wonder, would he had passed on so early if we were not in this 'war'? Would he had finally changed and realized his wrongs and have another 10-20 years to live it?
Everything happens for a reason, and the only thing good he did for us next to giving us life was after he died. Because of his death, mum and I are talking again, after 3 weeks. We are hearing from my brother more often now. And the best thing, mum talked to the boyfriend today. Good manners and all. No black sulky face. No sarcasm. Looks like she is slowly giving it a try. Maybe she went to see a fortune teller by herself without me knowing, or maybe after what I told her the day we fought finally knocked some sense into her thick skull. But anyhow, I'm glad it happened. And by my father passing on is not all bad. In case he don't need to suffer living in this life of his anymore. He is finally free and hopefully he will be a better person in his next life to come.
God bless him. Thank you for saving my father.
He was a gambler, and at the race course will he always be remembered.
He lived a life of a vagabond, and a vagabond he will always be remembered.
He was a lousy man, and in our hearts that is what he will always be.
He was 58, and at 58 will he always stay...
The man I'm talking about is my father, WAS my father. He passed on today.
I've never had a good relationship with my father. I knew what kind of person he was and I was never on his side. I could never understand why mum married him. I could never understand how he could do all those things he did and still forgave himself. I could never understand how he managed to live a life like that, for 58 years.
Mum, brother and I shifted away from him nearly 5 years ago. And 5 years was how long I didn't see him. But wen we were all still living under the same roof, we were already never a family. Back then, I did though of the 'what if's' before. What if I get married? Will I inform him? What if he falls really sick, on sick bed? Will I go see him? What if he died? I never thought I would had to experience any of that so soon, but now I am. I never expected myself to cry, but I did. I never expected myself to be sad, but I am.
My father was never really a father nor a husband to us. He was as useless as can be. All the pain and suffering he made us go through. Never on our side, but on he wrong side, the side that was out to hurt us. And now, he is dead, and I am here blogging about it. I don't even know what was the cause of his death, nor is there a wake for him. Are we suppose to hold the wake? Or are his family members doing it? Do they want us to claim his body? Or have they shunned us away, disowned us?
I'm actually sadden by the fact that he was so pitiful. Dying alone. Not having family with him. The only memory he have of us are the 2 pictures of my brother and I when we were 7 or 8 kept in his wallet. He made himself like that and I know pitying him is not worth it but I just can't help it. He IS my father after all.
I wonder, would he had passed on so early if we were not in this 'war'? Would he had finally changed and realized his wrongs and have another 10-20 years to live it?
Everything happens for a reason, and the only thing good he did for us next to giving us life was after he died. Because of his death, mum and I are talking again, after 3 weeks. We are hearing from my brother more often now. And the best thing, mum talked to the boyfriend today. Good manners and all. No black sulky face. No sarcasm. Looks like she is slowly giving it a try. Maybe she went to see a fortune teller by herself without me knowing, or maybe after what I told her the day we fought finally knocked some sense into her thick skull. But anyhow, I'm glad it happened. And by my father passing on is not all bad. In case he don't need to suffer living in this life of his anymore. He is finally free and hopefully he will be a better person in his next life to come.
God bless him. Thank you for saving my father.
A girl will never be lost with her girlfriends around
I did not blog about it but recently, my relationship was on a rockier side. I had doubts (yes... again) and this time I really wanted to call it quits. I really didn't want to jeopardize my relationship with mum anymore. And I really thought that if doing what she wants will solve the problem, I was willing to do so.
I honestly must say that I'm very very lucky to have him. I really really appreciate him for not giving up on me, on us when I wanted to. He still put on his thickest face and hung on to us. But most importantly, I really really really appreciate my girls for talking sense into me. Without them, I don't think no matter how thick the face the bf put on, it would not had saved what we have.
Now, after 2 hours at the mamak with the girls (even though only 50% turned up), blabbing all our hearts out on our frustration, I'm able to see things clearer now. I know what I must do.
So, a big THANK YOU to you girls (you know who you are). Muaks!!!
p/s: And for those who didn't turn up, I still love you girls. ^_^
I honestly must say that I'm very very lucky to have him. I really really appreciate him for not giving up on me, on us when I wanted to. He still put on his thickest face and hung on to us. But most importantly, I really really really appreciate my girls for talking sense into me. Without them, I don't think no matter how thick the face the bf put on, it would not had saved what we have.
Now, after 2 hours at the mamak with the girls (even though only 50% turned up), blabbing all our hearts out on our frustration, I'm able to see things clearer now. I know what I must do.
So, a big THANK YOU to you girls (you know who you are). Muaks!!!
p/s: And for those who didn't turn up, I still love you girls. ^_^
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Not so mighty
Damn it! My Mighty Mouse's™ scroller just died on me... again!! Hello... it's already my 2nd one in a year.
Hmm... wonder is it a full year already? Maybe it's still under warranty. Better check so that I can go change a new one (which will only last another 6 months before it dies again... but oh well, better than nothing right?).
Hmm... wonder is it a full year already? Maybe it's still under warranty. Better check so that I can go change a new one (which will only last another 6 months before it dies again... but oh well, better than nothing right?).
Ugly as hell
Today I received a job brief to redesign and recreate a design guide for a bunch of MATRADE booklets. The client was cooperative to give us samples of pass designs for our reference and to show us their problem about the inconstancy of every booklet.
References of pass years booklets. Not very happening looking to me.
Is writes:
• Samples of the Products & Services booklets. MATRADE
• There's no consistency
• Ugly as hell
"Ugly as hell". Simple. Straight to the point. Idiot proof.
I now wonder, who wrote that? The servicing or the client? If it's the servicing, then why did they bother writing such a long job brief? The post-it is direct enough to explain the job exercise. But if it's the client.... Thank you God and Hallelujah!!
Man, Ugly as hell.... that's a good one. Never thought I would see that sentence in Advertising.
References of pass years booklets. Not very happening looking to me.Notice the post-it note on the cover? Let me zoom in for you to get a better look.
Is writes:• Samples of the Products & Services booklets. MATRADE
• There's no consistency
• Ugly as hell
"Ugly as hell". Simple. Straight to the point. Idiot proof.
I now wonder, who wrote that? The servicing or the client? If it's the servicing, then why did they bother writing such a long job brief? The post-it is direct enough to explain the job exercise. But if it's the client.... Thank you God and Hallelujah!!
Man, Ugly as hell.... that's a good one. Never thought I would see that sentence in Advertising.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Sangat tak the bagus-ness
How can I call myself a blogger? It's already mid April and I had only 1 pathetic post?? Such a disgrace! I'm like sedang merosakkan nama-nama baik all the other real bloggers who really blog - everyday.
I know... I've not been putting in a lot of hours since beginning of the year. Why? I also dunno... maybe it's because the whole reason I started blogging to express my frustration but now I'm not as frustrated as I was before anymore? Or I don't bother sharing my thoughts anymore? Or I'm just plain lazy? Yea..... that's it. The last question IS the answer. And that's not an excuse.
So how? So how? To continue or to stop? I really envy those 'real' bloggers who have so much to share. Their lives seem so fun... so full.... I want to be like them. Not 100% but in case give me something to write, to share.
So from now on, I am to blog everyday, at least 1 (ONE) post each day, no matter how small the matter is. I will not critique myself and think that the mater is not worth sharing. Okay? And if I don't keep this up? Er....... can I not think of the punishment now?
I will do it! Promise!! I already have something to share. Serious!!
I know... I've not been putting in a lot of hours since beginning of the year. Why? I also dunno... maybe it's because the whole reason I started blogging to express my frustration but now I'm not as frustrated as I was before anymore? Or I don't bother sharing my thoughts anymore? Or I'm just plain lazy? Yea..... that's it. The last question IS the answer. And that's not an excuse.
So how? So how? To continue or to stop? I really envy those 'real' bloggers who have so much to share. Their lives seem so fun... so full.... I want to be like them. Not 100% but in case give me something to write, to share.
So from now on, I am to blog everyday, at least 1 (ONE) post each day, no matter how small the matter is. I will not critique myself and think that the mater is not worth sharing. Okay? And if I don't keep this up? Er....... can I not think of the punishment now?
I will do it! Promise!! I already have something to share. Serious!!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Now I'm starting to panic a bit....
On 3rd Feb 2009, I placed an order on Threadless. It's my 2nd purchase from this site. My first order in 2008 took nearly 2 months to arrive but in case it did. But this time, it has already been more than 2 months and it's still no where in sight! The best part is that this time, I paid for Postal Priority, which is suppose to arrive faster than the normal Postal Economy which I used on my first purchase.
So how now? How? I went back into their site for services and help and this is the answer I got:
How does Global Postal shipping work?
We use Mail Innovations for the International Postal option. Mail Innovations is a service provided by UPS. UPS picks up your order from our warehouse, sorts it, applies the necessary postage, and handles the order until it reaches your country. Once the order arrives in your country, it is handed off to your local post office for delivery. UPS does not deliver the order.
Postal Economy should take 1-3 weeks to be delivered and Postal Priority typically takes 5-10 days. Any postal international order can encounter numerous delays while in transit, so it is possible to take up to 5 weeks for an order to be delivered. Unfortunately, tracking information is not available for Postal shipments. The ship times given are estimates and not guaranteed.
Custom fees and additional fees may apply for international shipments. Please contact your local customs office for more information.
So die lor like that.... no shipping number.... how to track? It was suppose to be Darling's V-day present and hello.... V-day was 2 months ago already!
Pray hard and keep my fingers crossed. It not RM100 bye-bye d leh... :(
So how now? How? I went back into their site for services and help and this is the answer I got:
How does Global Postal shipping work?
We use Mail Innovations for the International Postal option. Mail Innovations is a service provided by UPS. UPS picks up your order from our warehouse, sorts it, applies the necessary postage, and handles the order until it reaches your country. Once the order arrives in your country, it is handed off to your local post office for delivery. UPS does not deliver the order.
Postal Economy should take 1-3 weeks to be delivered and Postal Priority typically takes 5-10 days. Any postal international order can encounter numerous delays while in transit, so it is possible to take up to 5 weeks for an order to be delivered. Unfortunately, tracking information is not available for Postal shipments. The ship times given are estimates and not guaranteed.
Custom fees and additional fees may apply for international shipments. Please contact your local customs office for more information.
So die lor like that.... no shipping number.... how to track? It was suppose to be Darling's V-day present and hello.... V-day was 2 months ago already!
Pray hard and keep my fingers crossed. It not RM100 bye-bye d leh... :(
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