Origami in the Pursuit of Perfection

Check this video out. It's simply amazing.

Hmm.... If only history classes were this interesting during secondary school, then maybe I could had scored better. :)

Cloudy blue sky

Took this picture from the porch on the afternoon of 28th December. Really reminded me of my trip to KT a few months back.

Angel in the car

Took this picture on the 17th of December while driving home in the evening. Was waiting for the traffic light to turn when I spotted the wing on my dashboard. :)

Selling yourself

How do you sell yourself? How do your brand yourself? How do you 'make' yourself into a 'product' that will be hot off the shelf?

I've been looking at the same blank word document and my old resumé to and froth the whole day and it's still looks exactly the same from this morning.

How in the world did I do it the previous round? How did all those words came together to make that sentence?

My favourite MSN conversation

Me hearts this boy banyak-banyak now :)

It broke

The cross and chain I wore on my wrist for the longest time (nearly 10 years I think) broke! It broke yesterday night.... on all days, Christmas night!

I don't know what it breaking symbolizes but I know that I'm just thinking too much. Just because it's a present I bought for my first BF for Christmas, which I never had the chance to give to. Oh well.

Magic Wand

I was in Aeon Bukit Tinggi this evening. And while waiting for some friends to come out from the loo, I was standing in front of this shop and saw, to me, one of the most unforgivable design no-no.

Using the 'magic wand' tool to edge out something to be used for this size?? Hello!! Which design school did this designer went to? And don't this shop have QC?? hmm...

The shop front

Close up in detail

Oh! Did I mention that the logo is also pixelated??

Hmm... then again, maybe it's a designer thing. Right? Did you ever notice it? No rite? Then surely it's100% a designer thing. Maybe a Virgo thing as well.

I hearts, but...

I saw this blouse in Nichi which I really liked. But... I promised mum and myself that no more shopping and that is what I'm going to do. Cold turkey. No shopping at all. Zero. Zip. Nada.

So what's the next best thing to owning it? Take a picture of how good you look in it (and post it up on your blog so that maybe some good, kind person who is in the mood to do some charity during the festive season will get it for me? Please...).

Do I look good in it or do I look good in it?

p/s: It costs RM49.90 and I wear size s. Thank you banyak-banyak in advance... :)

Reminder to self

DON'T YOU EVER DRINK OR CLUB EVER AGAIN!!

CLUBBING IS FINE BUT DO NOT,
I REPEAT DO NOT EVER DRINK!!

YOU CANNOT DRINK SO STICKING WITH COKE IS JUST FINE!!

but...but... I drank in Bangkok and I was fine wor...

IT DOESN'T MATTER!!

o.... ok.... Merry Christmas!! :)

Awesome Posum

My favourite word/ sentence/doggerel of them moment:

"Awesome Posum"

"Okie Dokie" just lost it's place




Awesome Posum•Awesome Posum•Awesome Posum•Awesome Posum•Awesome Posum•Awesome Posum •Awesome Posum •Awesome Posum •Awesome Posum •Awesome Posum •Awesome Posum

~tee hee

Me at 6.30pm on 23 December 2008

Some where in Kelana Jaya

A picture says a thousand words.
What do you see? What do you feel?

Count down

Today is the 23rd of December
That means 25 more days
But I don't work on weekends so it's minus 6 days = 19 days
Minus 3 more public holidays = 16 days
Today is already ending so minus 1 more day = 15 days
31 is a half day so minus 1/2 = 14.5 days

14.5 more days.... man... if only it was 14.5 more hours or 14.5 more minutes.....

Anyhow, Garfield thought this. Teehee... :)

Update at 8.20pm: Just found out that tomorrow is also a half day! Woo hoo! Which now makes it 14 days! :)

The eve of Christmas eve

Woke up today to see God shinning at me. It was just amazing.

7.25am

7.30am

Then it made me think. Is this what I've been missing out all this while? Was my eyes too clouded to see? What happened to the Li Sa who smiles at herself when she is shown/given/told with these simple things?

I'm glad that get to see this today morning. It's considered one of my best presents this year. And best of all, it came from God.

There are more than starry nights to lookout for now. :)

0% K

2 months ago, I posted this (*click)

Iky Wiky Me

2 months later, I've finally moved my lazy butt and now, it looks like this:

My lappy that looks brand new. 0% K :)

If I don't do something about it soon...

.... I think it's going to explode!!

I'm talking about my closet. I think it's about time I do something about it. Organize it; throw out the old; get a 2nd closet... anything.... It's so messy till I found clothes in there I bought and have not worn and totally forgot about... hmm....

Mummy actually gave up on kinda helping me keep it neat a few months back. She didn't know what to hang and what not to hang anymore. So in the end, she just dumps everything there. Haha....

Well, I really really should clean it up.

My very messy and unorganized closet

I hearts weekends

Recently, I've been loving my weekends more and more because within these 2 1/2 days, I get to (in no random order):

1) not think about my very crappy and sucky 5 weekdays at the place called 'work'
2) get to do do drama series and movie marathons (this I give 1 million hearts)
3) wake up only then the sun is shining down at my lazy butt
4) download Chinese mp3's illegally (funny that the site I usually download from only works during weekends)
5) catch up with my girls (this... I give 1 gazillion hearts ^_^)
6) bake (not very so now because the people who I thought appreciated it apparently don't really do! Well too bad for them then.)
7) not think so much about how sad I am because I'm only surrounded by happiness! :)

Empty vs. Broken

Emptiness can be filled up.
But broken, there will always be a scar even after mending.

I am broken.

Monkey Alert!!

Everyday.
With out fail.
2 times a day.
8.30am & around 6 plus in the evening.
Monkeys come invade my street, rumbling through our trash.

Taken on the morning of 16/12/08
And they are right above my room.

My neighbor was also about to leave for work and he advised me through the fences to be careful of the monkeys. Well, I thank him for the concern but then wouldn't using a broom stick to knock the zinc roofing where the monkeys was first spotted sitting provoke them more?

Creepers... monkeys scare me.

I did it

Today I finally did it. There is no turning back now.

I honestly don't know what the future holds for me now, but it's better then to have no future here.

Maybe I should take up mummy's offer to pursue my degree in Australia? Well, that sounds like a plan if we get the money...

Anyhow, 1 month and counting. I really hope this puts an end to my sucky 2008 and give me a good start in 2009.

I'll keep my fingers crossed. :)

Today, I cried...

Today, I cried. I cried twice.

Once in the office when on the phone with Yenn Linn.

The other, just a few minutes ago. In front of mummy.

I cannot recall the last time I cried in front of my mum. 5, 10 years ago? I really cannot remember.

I really don't know how to put this in context but all I know is that what they say is true - your family will never abandon you. Never.

Just when I really thought that mummy will just scold me for my stupidity, I was wrong. She did not even raise her tone a tiny notch. She actually was cool about it and supported my decision.

I'm brought up in a quite traditional Asian family where we don't say things out loud. So there fore, both mummy and I has never expressed out love for each other. But I'm fine with how it is. I will teach my children to say it but I'm fine with how we are now. Cause we both know deep down, we know. We ARE mother and daughter.

Anyhow, I'm really grateful to have my mummy as my mum. And I thank her for helping me through this, no matter how useless I feel I am.

Thank You Mi.

Huh? Am I getting my days wrong?

I think there's something really wrong with Facebook. Can you spot it?

exhibit no. 1

exhibit no. 2

Saw it? I don't think I'm crazy and I don't think I'm seeing things wrongly too.

Yesterday = the day before today (past)
Today = present day
Tomorrow = the after today (future)

So I ask you now: How can your comment be there before the day comes?

I tak faham. You faham? Tolong jelaskan kepada saya.

Terima Kasih.

Me short post

Me back.
Me still alive.
Me tired. Very tired.
Me want sleep.
Me need work tomorrow.
Me will blog tomorrow.

Me say g'nite.

Off to Hong Kong I go...

My flight will leaving for Hong Kong in 6 hours time and guess what? I'm still in the office! Great huh? And to add to my misery, I'm not feeling well....

I really need a break... but can I survive even before I can make it?

Think positive... In case I don't need to face my nightmare for a while. Damn it! It's really starting to get on to me! Remember I said that I can never hate (you)? Well, guess I was wrong. I think I do hate you now. Hate you for being so useless in my eyes. Such an eye sore. Such a disappointment....sign....

Anyway, stay positive.... Holiday... Shopping......

Bye people... See you in 6 days time. Hope to take some nice pictures of Hong Kong life.

Creepers

I came in to work today at 9.05am and to find......the office still locked! Worst still, there was no one walking in thought the door even after 9.20am.

It was creepy... was there a memo that I didn't receive about the office closing down for a day? Or maybe a virus outbreak that I didn't know of? Or is today a weekend??

But anyhow, I was just scaring myself. People are in now. I think it's my sinus. Not making me think straight.

Didn't I tell you so?

See. Didn't I tell you so? Now it has finally happened and you are f***ed. There is not point crying over spilled milk now.

Honestly, I really didn't know how to react to the news. Sad? Disappointed? Happy? Relieved? I don't know. Honestly, I don't think I really felt anything. Maybe somehow along the way when I lost my respect for you (*click), I've already kind of prepared myself for something like this.

Well, I must admit that I do feel a bit pity for you... maybe 20%-30% because I think you are not all to blame. There is the boss (who in my opinion hires wrong people - 2 very good examples here) , the other 'one' he hired and also the one with 'balls'. But the other 80%, it's all you man.

How much lower can you go? How much more respect is there for you to loose? Honestly now... S-P-E-E-C-H-L-E-S-S. Just speechless.

Anyhow, if you happen to be reading this, I hope you just wake up already and see what shit you threw yourself in. I don't know at this point now is there any more hope. But so you know, what ever it is,

DO NOT. AND I REPEAT. DO NOT THROW YOUR SHIT AT ME AGAIN.

I might be patient then, but I promise you, I am not who I was a few moths back anymore. You 'made' me like this. You 'broke' me and this is how I work 'broken'.

Everything happens for a reason, and for me being broken, the shattered glass me me see the bigger picture. Thank you.

Leave me alone

My work load is like the zombies in 'Quarantine'.

Just when you thought they are already dead after putting 2 bullets through their chest, the next thing you know, they ambush you by jumping out of the closet.

In. Your. Face.

Why won't they just die...... Leave me alone already....

A familiar stranger in the night

Got a very unexpected text message at exactly 1.47am this morning.

Who was it from? An ex. Shocked? Haha. I was kind of too.

Anyhow, he called after that and we chatted for more than 1/2 an hour, which made me over slept and was late for work... hmmph!

But, it was nice though. It was nice knowing that we are still friends after our history together. :)

I'm Alex, THE Alex...

Honey got me this:

Me hearts her long long and many many....haha. :)

The most amazing 3.30am

Just came back from the Levi's event after sending all my girls home one by one.

One of my neighbor was having a party and mum called to inform me about the cars still parked in front of the house. True enough, there were. But then remember, everything happens for a reason...

While I was waiting for the men to come remove their cars (and might I add took quite a while), I just happened to look up to the sky and OMG.... it was beautiful! B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! I don't think I have seen so many stars in the sky before...especially from the city! Words cannot express how I feel now. So deep. So profound. So serene. So quite. So......WOW....

It's nice to end my night like this. Me likes. :) If only I get to see things like this more often. Life would be so much more meaningful. It's the simplest things that God made that makes life beautiful. Agree?

And... if only I could share this happiness with him tonight... he's only person I know that understand and appreciate this beauty...

Oh well.... good night.

Mummy say 'don't talk to strangers'

And that is a principle I still follow.

So strangers,

STOP REQUESTING TO BE MY 'FRIEND' ON FACEBOOK!!

I will not confirm your request.
I don't know you so don't expect me to 'poke' you or send you a teddy bear.
It will not happen. Never. Period.


p/s: And I am not one of those 'girls' you collect on you page too. Who made me your 'collectible'?

The octopus is now...

...cooked.

So cooked till her 'insides' are empty, hollow.
Brain is moving at only 1km/h, maybe slower. Sometimes even stopped. Spaced out. Makes everything not matter.

A file which I was working on the whole night just went 'poof' into thin air. 2 hours down the drain. I remember saving the file every 1/2 an hour or so but don't know why while doing the final saving before leaving the office, my electric power box just tripped (huh? I also dunno why. And why my computer? At this time? Was it because I was doing too much heavy work load the whole day without stopping?). And when I restarted the computer... 'bo liao'...

But remember,I'm numb. Stoned. No feeling. No panic.

The octopus is cooked. And what she wants to do now is to just stayed cooked.... (but not eaten la)

Today I am still an octopus...

...but a slow one.
A tired one.
An octopus with scrambled thoughts...


I'm still an octopus.....

Today I am an octopus

Today I am an octopus.
A very calm and organized octopus.
I will be a calm and organized octopus too tomorrow.

Why can't I look you in the eyes anymore?

I recently realized that I cannot look you in the eyes anymore while talking. Heck! I cannot even look AT you. I don't know why but I just can't. It some how feel awkward. What happened to being comfortable, being able to talk about anything? Sometimes, I even feel like our conversations are 'forced'.

What phase is this? And is it a good phase or bad? Where is this leading us, most importantly me? I'm the one stuck in this deep shit. You on the other hand are lying in a bed of flowers.....

Bad, bad memory... GO AWAY!

Bad memory! Why must you come back? Why couldn't you just stay in that little locked drawer of yours in my brain? Why haven't you shifted out already? Argh!

I did not need to to remind me of the hurt I went through the last time this scenario happened a few months back. You made me hope. Then you made me remember the aftermath of that. The stupid harassment I got. Which then lead me to remember so much more....and more and more..... ARRRGH!!

Great! Now thanks to you I am grumpy and cranky.

Damn it!

Slow 'CPU' restart

Recently, I realized that my brain has been restarting itself every morning. It's true. Every morning when I wake up, I cannot really remember what happened yesterday. What day was it. What I did. Who I was with. What emotions I went through. As if it was totally wiped off.

Well, let me clarify. I don't have amnesia. It's more like my brain reboots a bit slower. Blurry images will only start to unfold like after 10-15 minutes after waking up when I'm in the shower (I tend to think a lot in the shower so maybe that is when the brain starts to warm up). I will only later remember more and more things from yesterday (and some long long time ago story which some I wish to just forget) when driving (I think a lot too while driving).

So, is this some memory lost symptom? Or is it a normal thing with the human brain that I never notice until recently?

Operasi Tat Telur

Baking has now become a weekly project I do when I'm not out spending all my money away. ;p

This week's bake: Egg Tarts.

Before going in for the baking

I've baked egg tarts before (which I must add and emphasize got VERY GOOD critiques) but this time, I tried a different recipe for the crust. I always loved the Chinese egg tart's flaky crust so since I managed to find the recipe in our very unorganized recipe cupboard, why not give it a try?

End result. hope it tastes as good as it looks.

The new crust pastry was more work than I thought it would be. But how about the taste? I honestly don't know. I never try what I bake. I just love the process and seeing end product, plus the reaction of people's face when they try them. The satisfaction of feeding people with home made food is just something I enjoy.

Well, Grandpa and the Vibrators will have to be my guinea pig for the taste testing. I hope it won't be a disappointment.... *keeps fingers cross

Good news or bad?

Just received a mailer from a certain bank telling me that my credit card application has not been approved.... hmm... is it good news or bad?

Well, I didn't want it in the first place but just applied because the sales girl looked desperate and I have also planned to not activate the card once I got it. But then not being approve, does this mean that my financial status is not in very good shape? Am I being black listed? *Gulp

Bruce Wayne is??

A friend posted this on Facebook. I didn't really find it all that weird only maybe for the bad China translated English until I got to the part where he turned into another person. Haha.... Check it out!
When being a child Bruce Wayne had witnessed with his own eyes the fact his parents of millionaire were killed cruelly. So affected his strong desire of Revenging his parents. However, God had never given him a chance to fulfill his will. Following the advice of Raws Al-Ghul - the chief of Ninja Group, Bruce come to Gete, which was a corrupted city filled with various crime groups. Bruce found a basement under his villa that turned him into another person: Spiderman. With this mask Spiderman stroke all criminal activates and criminals everywhere. Such as Tougon, the chief of mafia, Dr. Jackstraw, the abnormal drug trafficker, even a mysterious opponent quite familiar with him

Here's one for you

This is dedicated especially to you if you are reading this.

Izzie to Alex: No, go on please. Be a selfish ass. Because then at least I know what to expect. This whole 'be a nice guy one minute and a total jerk the next' is getting really. Old. So who's it gonna be? Pick. One.

There's No 'I' in Team (Grey's Anatomy Season 5 Episode 5)

A bundle full of something profound

Ever have this feeling of gratefulness, thankfulness, relieve, happiness, excitement and so much more positivity all jumbled up together doing cart wheels from the top of your head to the tip of your toes?

Well, this was what I felt on Monday night during drinks with 2 of my 'bestest' jimuis (you know who you are. Love you girls long long ^_^). Didn't expect something so random like this, a small little comment that might not mean anyrthing to anyone but meant alot to me to make my day (or rather night then the day after and many many more days to come).

So you know, I may thought that I have lost, but then again, what I lost is just so little compared to what you lost. I'm more than what you deserve. Trust me. So in a twisted way, I won. ^_^v

Bubbles popping in my head

I hate it when bubbles start popping in my head. They just pop up without notice and never goes away... actually, the more you try to make them stop, the more they pop! P-O-P!

Tak faham what I'm talking about? Okay. Let me put it in general human language. (Sorry that I was talking in my own language earlier.)

Have you ever experience monologues in your head? Monologues that just happen all of the sudden without anything provoking it to happen. You are just mining your business driving home, listening to the radio, laughing at the DJ's stupid jokes then BAM! Your brain starts talking to you. And yes it babbles. Babble like how the Gilmore Girls do it...maybe faster at time.

Anyhow, (I think I'm doing it now. Popping.) when these bubbles pop, why do they open up memories that you thought have been long forgotten. I don't mind the happy ones that put a smike on your face or better if those that make you laugh out loud like a crazy person. But why is it that when there is good, there have to be bad as well? Then the bad just takes over everything. Why? Why? Is there a cure to this? Stop the popping. Don't wash my hair so that no soap water will sip through into my brain? That sound s like a plan.....

Okay. Okay. I'm not making any sense now. The popping is making me lose my concertration. Lose my point. My focus.

What ever it is. STOP POPPING BAD BUBBLES BRAIN! JUST TO THE GOOD ONES WILL DO!

One of the longest days...

Woke up at 5.30am.
Was in the office by 7am.
Started work by 7.30am.
Went for meeting at The Garden's from 12pm to 1.30pm.
Had lunch at 2pm.
Went back to work at 3pm.
Left at 7.30pm.
Reached home at 9pm.

I'm so tired now.
Can't make up long sentences.
Short posts good when brain not functioning well.

Oh! Me hearts government for reducing fuel price to RM2 per litter today. It might be a political fraud but don't complain. Enjoy it while you still can. Not every thing good lasts forever.

Trust me on that.

Lie, lie, lie...(24/7 x 1,000000000)

If I lie to myself, 24/7, 1,000000000 (I don't know how much is this) a day, will it help me feel better? Will it help me be happier?

My answer: YES! That is what I've been doing for the past 3 months or so and..... it is working. I am starting to feel better. Starting to forget.

I know this is not the right solution to problems but hey! If it works, why not? Well, it might not work forever but... take it as pain killer. It helps stop the pain for a while... and that is the only solution I have now. I know my past will come back to haunt me some day but that is a total different story. I'll deal with it later when it comes. For now, I'm happy with my 'pain killers'.

Sunday movie night

I'm not a movie buff (which translates I love watching movies but I'm fine too if I happen to miss any recently screening). But once in a while when I'm a bit free, I usually go to my private DVD supplier (a.k.a also know as my 5th aunt) to borrow the movies which I missed.

My aunt has all the movies played on the silver screen but not all good movies are played there, especially the independent ones or movies with lower budgets. They are usually considered too 'artistic' for the general public.

Anyhow, I recently was surfing the net and came across a few movies which I'm interested in. Dark City, The Crow, Donnie Darko and Butterfly Effect are a few of them.

Tonight, I decided to cut my list down by 2. It's amazing this internet generation... I actually watched both Donnie Darko and Butterfly Effect of the internet.
Donnie Darko. A 2001 cult classic psychological thriller flim written and directed by Richard Kelly. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal. The film depicts the reality-bending venture of the eponymous character as he seeks the meaning and significance of his troubling end of the world visions. (source: Wikipedia)

The movie was a bit difficult to understand at first but then I slowly got the hang of it in the end. Well, it made more sense later after I 'wikipedia-ed' the synopsis. And just like what the director wanted, I did interpreted the movie to my own understanding. A sequal will be out next year called S. Darko. It's about Donnie's sister (Samantha) 7 years later after his death and is played by the same little girl from the movie. And yes. The purple bunny is still there.

The other movie I watched was The Butterfly Effect staring Aston Kutcher. I watched this movie I think 4 years ago when I was in Beijing. This is actually one of my favourite movies. Not because of the cinematography but beause of the theory and concept behind it.

Butterfly effect: A phase that encapsulates the more techincal notion of sensative dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory. Small variations of the initial condition of a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system. So this sometimes presented as esoteric behavior, but can be exhibited by very simple systems: for example, a ball placed at the crest of a hill might roll into any of several valleys depending on slight differences in initial position. (source: wikipedia)
This movie has 2 endings. The one I saw in Beijing was actually the 120 minutes long Director's cut and the one I just saw was the 113 minutes long theatrical cut. After watching both, I personally prefer the director's cut better.

Director's cut

Theatrical cut

There was a sequal to this in 2006 but apparently it didn't do just as well as the first. A 3rd sequal is set to but out next year too named Butterfly Effect: Revelation.

Next weekend when I'm free, I'll watch Butterfly Effect 2. Cause right now, 2 movies a night is enough. And not forgetting it's already 1am on a Monday morning.

Restless Saturday

Today happened to be one of those days where I didn't feel like doing anything, going anywhere or seeing anyone.

I woke up to my sinus and felt like shit. So I slept the whole day. And literally slept the whole day. Didn't even had the mood to blog (oh! did you know I'm typing on my baby now? Yes! I got her back yesterday ^_^). Was not in the mood for anything.

Feeling sleepy again now... maybe it's the flu medicine I took. But I want to watch Rocky 3.... How?

I hate being restless.... My brain doesn't work...

Fi Fai Fo Fum...I think I smell you...

I think I smell you.... yes you! You are reading my blog. Aren't you? Hey! This is personal and the only way I know and have to express myself. Don't you dare judge me. I'm not doing you any harm. I'm free to express what I feel, to have my own opinion.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope that my instincts are wrong. That I'm thinking too much. You are not reading this. You don't know about this blog. You respect my privacy.

Please let me be wrong...

p/s: If you ARE reading this, then too bad that you have to read what ever I wrote. Some things are just not meant to be known.

To believe or not to believe?

I do believe in God but then again I'm not the type of person who turns to Him, open my mouth and asks for help. 

On Tuesday night, while driving on the way to meet my girlfriends for dinner, out of the blue, I did it. I prayed and ask for His help. I opened my mouth and the words came flowing out. I asked him to give me a sign, help me find a way out. I really felt that I cannot deal with all this anymore. I'm chocking, drowning. I really want to come out from the water but I cannot swim.

That very same night, I had the weirdest dream. I cannot usually remember dreams but this one, I remember it vividly. It started out with mummy and I house hunting and then finding our dream home. A bungalow with 5 rooms and 5 bathrooms which costs only RM40,000!  It then cut to us driving my car picking celebrities. We first went to pick Gary, then Zhang Dong Liang. Then we had to pick Z Chen but then mummy didn't know the way so she asked Gary to drive (my car).

Then all of the sudden, I was walking on the streets of Bangkok (Siam Square), where I bumped into the Nescafé team. Ajoy was back and he was happy and ecstatic  to see me. Tiff and the rest was there too. They were on their way to the recording studio to record a new jingle. Funny huh? Then the next thing I know, we were all in the studio over looking the recording. And funny thing, Gee was there, as the producer!

Cut! I'm in this room which happen to look like McCann's studio. I saw Sonny and Mickie packing up to leave. I walked through this door and there I was at the Bangkok airport with W. We were about to go somewhere then all of the sudden his girlfriend turn up. We brought her back to the studio and and told her to stay put while we go settle some wrk stuff. Then W and I were went back to the Japanese restaurant in Bangkok airport to finish our business. The next thing you know, she came again! WTF! W look kinda irritated but then patiently the 3 of us went back tot he studio. I walked behind them and was wondering how did she know we were here then I saw her waving to Allison! What? How did she now Allison? And why was Allison there?

What ever. Back at the studio, Sonny and Mickie was still packing up. We went back to pack up as well. I then had to ask W something before I leave so I went into his room. His girlfriend saw me coming and said to him:" I miss the way how we used to kiss." And then they kissed. WTF?! What was she trying to prove? Anyhow, I snapped and somehow went up to them and push them apart, closed the door behind and said: "You know Melissa right? No one is leaving this room until we settle this." (Melissa?? I wanted to say Allison but the name just didn't seem to come out).

I woke up straight after that. I was not in shocked or anything. I didn't consider this a nightmare. It was just a bad dream. But it did made me cranky the whole day yesterday. I was trying to figure it (the whole dream) out. I manage to link some of the events with things that happen. Like the RM40,000 bungalow,RM40,000 was the price Boon Way told us about the 2nd Jaguar he  bought in Ireland. Melissa was the name of Honey's friend that she mentioned during dinner that night when we met up. And he rest..... I know why W and his girlfriend was in it. But Sonny and Mickie? Gary. Zhang Dong Liang and Z Chen?

Anyhow, maybe that was God's sign to me (I guess). Then yesterday after work, I dropped by Gardens to find some stuff for work. I didn't want to be caught in the jam so I hung out in Borders to read a little. Of all the books there to read, I had to pick up Lilian Too's 2009 Chinese horoscope prediction. I know unconsciously I was hoping to find some good answers and guides to my life next year. As usual, me being me, I did not only stopped at my sign. I had to read his as well. And looks like his year with his partner look good. No trouble, no drama. Just perfect harmony. (Damnit!)

It kinda hurt a little at first. But then after a while, I actually felt lighter. Carefree. Maybe this IS the real sign from God. I don't know. Maybe this is his way of showing me the right path. The way out. The full stop to my pain in the process of letting go. Nothing for me to cling on to anymore. The truth slap straight on me.

Maybe it's a habit. A lifestyle that I'm used to. Even after the reading, I just automatically browsed into the CD store, hoping to find something for W. Then into the lego store as well. I was about to walk to the toy store in Mid Valley but then I manage to stop and wake myself up in time. Why do I even bother anymore? I lost. I finally lost. I was losing but now I lost. Even if I can match up to what she can offer, what's the point? The verdict is in and there is nothing left to fight for.

I had a dream about him again last night. It's not very clear but I really hope that this is the last.

Mr. Celebrity?

Every morning, Mix FM have this section where they give you the latest celebrity gossip. Today they said something about Nicole Kidman, Madonna and Obama??

When did being elected as the next President of the US fall in to the celebrity category? I thought he was elected to be President? 

Is he? Right? Now I'm getting confused...

Feels like missing a part (maybe 2)

Mare 48 hours without my laptop and I feel so restless! I feel like I've been striped off my privacy! I can't even blog! And I need to blog! Blogging is the only place where I can be free. I hate sneaking around. Like how I am now, bloging sneakily. 

I want my laptop back.... I miss my wallpaper already... I miss my iTunes... I miss my iPhoto.... I miss all my web bookmarks.....

I'm psychic

I hate it when I know that I know.

It irritates the hell out of me.

Why? Because I don't want to know.

Can I stop knowing?

Why can't I know things that I want to know and not know things that I don't want to know?

God!

Darling, you are on borrowed time

On early Saturday morning, I wrote about my last moments with my laptop before she is sent in for her check up (*click). Well, it's early Monday morning now and I'm still blogging. I decided to give her in only tomorrow. I'm already not very ecstatic about not having a laptop at work for one whole week and without one over the weekend.... not good.

But everything happens for a reason. Just a few moments ago, the scroller on my mighty mouse died on me... AGAIN!!

Looks like Wai the technician will have to fill in another form for me. Sorry if I have to make you 'work'.

Grandpa's fusion den

Just came back from a family dinner at my grandparent's place. I've not been back for a few months now and today while chilling out in the hall, I decided to just look around to see are there any new things added.

You see, grandpa have this hobby of collecting things. And when I say 'things', they ARE really things, objects. From Liquor bottles, to stamps to beer mugs to little souvenirs brought back from all over the world. Even plane play cards or little freebies. You name it, 90% of the time you will eventually find it hidden somewhere. Big or small. You might even find things you never knew existed.

Grandpa has this huge ass display cabinet custom built more than 6 feet tall to fit into the right hand corner of the hall. I remember sitting in front of that class cabinet for hours trying to find and spot things in there when I was younger. It is now so filled up that grandpa have to place new stuff in any other glass cabinets around the house. Yes. He has other glass cabinets.

Anyhow, back to what I wanted to blog about (sorry for the detour down memory lane). while I was looking around, I realized that grandpa has this fusion interior going on. There are things from every era! Astro, one of the edgiest and latest stereo set, DVD player, 90's looking sofa set, 70's curtains, Flat screen TV, 70's cabinet box TV, Vinyl record stereo player....wow.... funny thing is that they don't look out of place. For some reason, all these things just seem to blend in perfectly together. Either grandpa has a very good eye in decorating or I'm just used to how it looks. I did spent my whole childhood there.

Oh! And when I thought it was all only in the hall, I walked intot he kitcen to find mum, 5th aunt and grandma washing up big stainless steel pots where with one glance you will eventually know they are not from this era. If I'm not mistaken they are 'Zeebra' brand form the late 70's - 80's.

I must say. If grandpa have an ample place to display everything he have, it can so become a museum. Serious.

So, have I told you about his onld mini cooper which he just sold away not long ago? Or about his collection of 'banana' money? Or his black dail phone? Or his god who know how old abascus which he still uses till this day?

I love my grandpa. I love my grandma. I love my grandparents. They are wicked!!! Awesome!!

Grawl.....

Grawl says my tummy.
It's 12.41 a.m. now on a Sunday morning.
Should I or should I not stop that grwaling?
I really feel like it.
But then if fat how?
I didn't take dinner right?
And I'm planning to do detoxing tomorrow right?
But what to eat?
Just drink tea?
Maybe I should.
I'm lazy to boil water.
Eat junk food maybe?
But I feel like Maggi Mee.
But I'm lazy to cook.
McDonald's delivery maybe?
But I'm sleepy d...

Man! Girls do think too much! ~hungry....

Experiment W.01

McDonald's just launched their 'Happy Meal Madagascar' toys in conjunction with the movie out next week.

Those who knows me will know that I'm a lion lover, and Madagascar happen to have a lion in it! His name is Alex.

So, just for kicks, I'm going to do a little experiment. I could always just get the toy from McD's myself (It only costs 3 bucks) but I'm not going to. I'm going to wait and see if that someone someone will get it for me. Maybe see a lion sitting on my table come Monday morning. :)

Childhood rerived

Recently I've started being obsessed over figurines thanks to W. His love for all his graphic novel figurines made me reminisce about my childhood days when mum used to help and encourage my brother and I collect cartoon figurines of than century... Thundercats, Transformers, Silverhawk...

So today while shopping, as usual I had to stop at the toy shop to look see. I was so ecstatic to see these 2 'babies' on display:

6 inch tall Ultra Magnus & Optimus Prime

I don't think they are transformable but they just look so cool that made me really wan to get them. Yes them. Not one but both. Too bad Optimus is out of stock (The shop owner actually offered me the display set). But that was not the real reason I didn't get them on the spot. I'm actually kind of tight this month. The 2 will cost me near RM 200. But anyhow, I'm not really worried because I think there will be cooler ones in Hong Kong! :)

How do I Live Without You?

My MacBook is only around 6 months old and it's already falling sick... :( Her CD burner is not working anymore. So I took it in for a check up today evening. The technician just casually nodded and asked me to fill up a form after I told him the problem. Then the next thing I knew, he just off my computer and ask me to sign a 'release' form. What?? But I didn't see him do anything. Not even a minor check up. Then when I asked, only he tells me that my comp needs to be sent back to the service centre...FOR A WHOLE WEEK!! A WEEK!! How do you expect me to live without my laptop for a whole week (and without notice just like that may I add)? Cannotlar... So, I told him that I will only give it in tomorrow, after I back up all the files I need... so sudden.... where can....

So people, I guess this is going to be the last post for now till one week later....sob..sob.... Office desktop is not a very good alernative, unless I go in super early before anyone arrives.

If... I wonder... (scrambled monolouge)

If we are so similar, then I wonder... What I'm feeling, all this 'whatever-ness', is he feeling the same way? Like how I'm feeling not so broken anymore? Or sometimes I wish that we can talk but are strong enough to hold it back? Or not initiating to take the first move to talk when only the both of us are alone together. It happened today but for some reason it was not as awkward as I thought it would be. He's the only person who I feel open enough to tell stupid things like making up conversations when seeing 2 birds seeking shelter from the rain. I miss the days when we sit at the steps making stories about the people dumping rubbish. Or will he still think of me when he sees things like ciggerette boxes, lions, cartoon figurines, 'our' song? Like how I will think of him when I see or hear things that reminds me of him? Or how memories frm 4 months ago are already starting to fade? Or how I still sometimes wish we can go back to that 4 months ago... Or sometimes wish all these never happen or sometimes even feel glad that all these happened? Or feel a bit shocked when we think and say things alike? Or feel that sometimes he dispises me? Like how I lost my respect for him recently? Maybe he lost his respect for me too...

All that I'm feeling from second to second, if we are so alike, this 'letting go and I'll be fine' feeling as much as I'm glad it's happening, I'm sad too that it's happening.... is he going through this phase too?

Huh?? What the....??

Came in to the office yesterday morning to find this "fiesta" happening on my table.
Can't really make out what's happening? Here's a better view:

Batman doing Batman... in public....with all the other figurines (and stuffed toys) from different 'worlds' watching... ewe.... get a room man!

Wow! We do have a lot of toys. Half of them are mine and half of them are W's. And you've guessed it right. The choreographer - W.

Oh! Can you name all the characters? :p

Evolution

Came across this while surfing yesterday.

The evolution of the Pepsi logo. But I don't know how well it will be accepted though. Personally I feel (the new packaging in whole) doesn't really give the "WOW" factor. I love how the logo is not static and is different but yet similar for every variant but the acclaimed "less is more" emptiness with Century Gothic?? Looks kinda unfinished to me. What happened to exploring new ways of printing on aluminum? Making sure every half-tone fits perfectly to the next one to create a perfect looking graphic? But then again, this is my take and I believe an organization that big and established has a perfect R&D department to support this move.

Gained respect for one and lost respect for another

Shuk, an ex-colleague dropped by today during lunch. I've only hung out with her a few times but I just love having her around. She's always so hyped up and perky. Not only that, she's also the type who just says whatever on her mind. She's blunt and straight to the point. Honest. Not a fake.

Anyhow, what she said today just gained her my full respect. She said things that I always wanted to tell W but never had the heart or guts to do so. Blunt. Straight. Clear. Verbal slap. I respect. If only I could be more like her, then I don't need to always feel so heavy, dark and angry, burring all the uneasiness hoping and praying I don't explode.

So, who lost my respect? The answer is W. It has been a while since I feel this way, but every time I tell myself to not judge him and just let it go. But today, I finally reached my limit. Losing respect in him as an Art Director somehow lead me to lose respect in him as a person as whole as well. I really really don't want to judge him but all his actions..... I really don't want to.

What Shuk said is so true. He is a pussy. He's really a disapointment and I'm saden.

It's always nice to see a familiar face

My day was not here nor there today... till I bumped into Joel outside like just a few minutes ago while taking a ciggie break. Really didn't expect to meet him here. Have not seen him since I left McCann. It was a very nice feeling.... like seeing a family member.

It just struck me that as much as I like it here, for some reason, McCann still feels like home. Maybe it's because of the people there. I spent 3 years there and 3 years is not a short period of time. I feel like I practically grew up there (in the advertising industry of course). There are unhappy times, but there are plenty of happy times as well.

I miss McCann. I miss my family.

I saved Batman, Robin & the Riddler

Jusco Bukit Tinggi recently added tenants who open little stalls on the walkways. I didn't expect to find a stall there selling cheap figurines. I just casually rumbled through the baskets of different cartoon characters form Spiderman to Ultraman to Power Rangers and came across Robin. I thought to myself: "Why doesn't anyone buy Robin? Everyone only buys Batman (and recently the Joker). Robin may not be in all the Batman movies, but he exists and may I remind you people that he IS Batman's side kick."

Anyhow, the Robin figurine wasn't very porpular, so I decided to 'make him wanted' a.k.a buy him. Then I saw this green suit skinny feller. I had no freaking idea who he was but I thought he looked cool so I 'adopted' him as well. I just realised that he's the Riddler when I was playing with him just now (wa....this sentence sound so wrong) when I saw the ? on his suit. Last came Batman. I bought him because....well, he's Batman!

So today, I'm feel like the superhero because I saved them from a crowded basket full of Spidies and Rangers, welcome them into my little world where toys are treated with respect and not just toys. :)

Was that a 'thank you' I heard?? Teehee....

the Riddler, Batman and Robin giving me thier best pose :)

Drama series quotes say it all

Grey's Anatomy:
Izzie: I care about you, and I'm not gonna go crazy, and I'm not gonna try to kill myself and I'm not gonna stop caring about you no matter how hard you push me away.
Alex: Shut up and get outta my room.
Izzie: And I know you care about me too and it's not too late for us.
Alex: Get outta my room.
Izzie: Admit it. I know you care about me too I know you do. I care about you. I care about you. I care about you. I care about you. I care about you!

There's No 'I' in Team (Season 5 Episode 5)


Gossip Girl:
Blair to Serena: I don't want to not know you. I can't not know you.

New Haven Can Wait (Season 2 Episode 6)

Love Hunter

Gift from K when in Bangkok. He is the "Love Hunter".
His credentials writes: "Better take good care of your heart. Watch your back! He's gonna take yours and make it his. And you will fall in love with him forever."

As of yesterday, he now hangs in my car.....hunting for love where ever I take him.... hope his Bangkok magic works.... :p

Stoned

My weekend list... only managed to finish 2 today. Washing up the clothes from Bangkok & getting a hair cut. But for some reason, I'm so stoned now.... blur... tired.... restless.... just want to sleep. Do nothing.... but I'm all readily dressed up to go out. Why is Tiger taking so long?? And what is this thing I'm going for again?

Captain Corelli's Mandolin

A friend posted this note on Facebook. A short paragraph from Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres. What it said was just amazing... and of course, IT IS one of the most famous and impactful quotes from the book.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

Weekend list

This weekend, I'm going to:
- wash and rinse everything I bought from Bangkok
- get a hair cut
- do spring cleaning which includes:
- re-organize my wardrobe
- re-arrange/re-decorate my room
- organize my stuff (get rid of unwanted stuff)
- catch up (hopefully) on all the drama series I've downloaded
- meet up with my 'sisters'

Really hope I have enough time for all that. It's not a long list but I foresee it will take up a lot of time. Wish me luck!

Life. But...

Got this in the mail today.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love
for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone
you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every
sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

True. Very true. But, if only it was that easy. It's always easier said than done.

Another from W

W got me this too when we were in Bangkok.

Sawadeekarp. Me name Logan.
Me from Bangkok.
You can also call me Wolverine.

It's funny how this "relationship" of ours is heading.... gifts practically every single week? Wonder how long more is this going to last..... hmm.....maybe I should do a post on all the things he gave me. Yea.... that sounds like a fun project. :)

Open your eyes and see...

Caught this on the way to work this morning. The sky was just amazing. Something good to start my weekend. ^_^

NKVE @ 8.00am (31.10.08)

Trunks vs. Trunks

Because I took Super Sayan Trunks to work, normal Trunks finally got to come out of the box.Trunks from GT & Super Sayan Trunks from Z

Happy Halloween!!

Novotel, Siam Square, Bangkok
(28.10.08)

Appreciation

Bangkok airport @ 28.10.08

Funny how we humans work. Ask yourself this question. When was the last time you enjoyed the sunset... at your own taman/town/city/state? Have you ever stopped feeling agitated while stuck in a jam and just admire what's around you?

People say the grass is always greener on the other side. I don't deny that saying. But my interpretation is a bit different: After seeing the greener grass, you will learn to appreciate life more. Then, the grass on this side will eventually be greener as well...once you've opened your eyes...

Mind reder(s)??

On October 8th, W got this for me and I blogged about it (*click)

When we were in Bangkok, he got this for me.Super Sayan Trunks

He got it at Chatucak market; even when were were not talking to each other, as much as I don't want to admit it, we always think about each other. Why do I say that? Well, at Chatucak, I bought him something as well. I was surprised when he came into my room and passed me this. Besides that, we even bought the same Happy Tree Friend character t-shirt.

This doesn't mean anything romantic or me putting hope in us or stuff. It's just that I realize that there are people who comes into your life and leave foot steps; but, there are some too that come and stay there forever, no matter how hard you try to chase them away.

W and I may not be like how we were 4 months back. But, it's hard to describe how we are already embaded in each other. We will never talk about it and may never will. We might not even see each other ever again if one of us leaves. But what ever it is, I'm actually blessed to experience how loving someone is; knowing that there is someone out there in this world who accepts you for who you are; that soul mates actually do exists; to experience hurt, pain, sadness.... to also remid me that everyting happens for a reason.

Where did this come from?

Mum and I have this mother and daughter ritual where we sit and talk every time one of us comes back from an event, outing, dinner...etc.... But yesterday, this conversation... what was mum thinking??

mum: So, Kin was there to pick you up?
me: Yea. He used my car over the weekend and pump back a full tank of petrol for me. He even topped-up my Touch-n-go. 50 bucks!
mum: He is the one. He knows you. He's stable, career stable. Mature...
me: Huh? Kin?? Yuck! He's so boring....
mum: Boring? Where got.... if he was he won't be wanting to go here and there...
me: But he always gets lost....
mum: well, he just came back mar.... not familiar with the roads...
me: But.... he....cannot lar! We are just friends.
mum: You think bout it.... both of you are in the same line... he knows how your work load is like...
me: argh.... Fong Kin Leong?! I cannot imagine!
mum: He's stable, mature, patient with your mood.... Not like W and A.... so unstable and imature...
me: This is not about W or A! What do they got to do with this?? And besides, I'm not eager to get married or what...
mum: No, I'm just saying...
me: but....Fong Kin Leong?? Cannot lar...... Okay, then what makes you think he likes me?
mum: Aiya! Of course he likes you... Who will treat someone so good, willing to wake up so early to send you to the airport, go pick you up....
me: He's not lar! He's just easy... Okay, so W treats me good also what. So does this mean he likes me?
mum: He's a colleague. W's heart is still flattering around. Not stable.....
me: Kin is not stable as well what. Still on contract. No car....
mum: Maybe he has reasons... like he wants to keep the money for something else, he's used to taxis...
me: Ya... afraid of commitment.
mum: Aiya.... you think about it lar....
me: ya..... But Fong Kin Leong?? Urgh....

15 minutes later

me: (holding up the voodoo doll K bought for me) Cute? It's a love voodoo doll.... K bought it cause he's eyes look so sad, and he's holding a bag filled with love...
mum: (taking the doll from my hand) for Kin lor...
me: =_=|||

It irritates me that we are so alike

Angry at the world cause it's not going your way.

Irritated with the people around you but don't know how to deal with it.
Want to talk but don't know where to start.
Know the problem but don't know how to solve it.
Rather keep everything inside and pray and hope you don't explode.
Channel anger in the stupidest way possible.
Have good intentions to help and solve things but with wrong execution.
Don't mean all the mean things you said.
Apologizing seem to be the hardest thing to do.
Always think that action speaks louder than words, but at times, words ARE louder than actions.
Always hope that he other person know what you want/what you think.
Ego/shy to take first move.

Can we not be so alike!! It irritates me that I know all these but cannot do anything about it.
I really want to help you... It makes me angry to not be able to help you. It makes me angry to see you angry at yourself....it makes my heart break... but.... will I offend you? Is what I'm feeling really what you are feeling?

Patchy puny little hands

Cute no?
This is how he is going to "hang" everyday.
His bright yellow makes me happy. ^_^

Oh! He also reminds me of my favorite character in Happy Tree Friends.

Handy the handy man... with no hands....
Ironic huh? :)

Patchy

"Yellow" the lion is now officially renamed "Patchy". Why?

1. He has a patch on the side of his head
2. "Yellow" is so....boring?
3. Horny actually interpreted the "true" meaning behind = patch on head = patch = amend = amend/patch up our relationship
4. Point no.3 made a lot of sense and helped me put what I was feeling into context.

I now declare your name to be "Patchy"

Now, to find a time to officially announce to the "presenter" about the name change. (that's going to be challenge... *gulp)

p/s: Thank you Horny.... wow... didn't know you were so metaphoric... :p

Ka Boom!!

A just threw an expected bomb down on everyone when discussing about transportation to the airport for the Bangkok trip.

Me? bf??

Hmm... wonder what's his reaction.... heart sank? Agitated? How I feel every time I hear him talk about her? Didn't catch it just now.

Dried out but still there

Remember these flowes from the road side (*click)

I never had the heart to throw them away (like how I deleted all those sms-es). So here they are on my CPU, dried out but still there....
... held up together with the post-it note I received on my birthday from W. Yet another item I did not had the heart to dispose off (and regretted throwing away the other post-its he left me when I thought he threw away those I left him; which he actually did not and is kept in his drawer).

Timing out

I've already lost count on how many times our (or rather his) timing is out since I started the cold war. When I'm smoking, he is not. When he is smoking, there are other people around. When I'm done, then only he comes out.

Why do I smoke? Because I was hoping that he would come out to have a smoke too. So that we can have some personal time to talk.

So out. Need twigging , need adjustments.

Typographic

Was doing usual surfing and came across this. Remember using this as a reference for one of my collage assignments. Super cool typo & graphics. Low tech but with a lot of thought put into it. Brilliant!

Steven Spielberg's "Catch Me if You Can"

How do you start out a new day?

1. Wake up at 6.30
2. Shower
3. Dress up
4. Drive, get stuck in a bit of jam
5. Enjoy the morning
6. Get good parking space
7. Be the first in at work...

wait! No I was not!
Spoil plan....
hmmph! >_<

Delete. Deleting. Deleted.

I was deleting my sms-es from my phone yesterday. Couldn't believe all the sms-es flooding my in box. As usual, I will always keep the ones that meant something to me. Then I remembered. Just a few months ago, I couldn't bare to delete any single sms. Every single one was precious and meaningful to me. But one day, with just one button, I deleted every single one; with out filtering. Sometimes, I really wished that I didn't did that. But then again, sometimes I'm glad that I did.

Memories are meant to be sweet. They are a bit blurry now but I'm glad that I that short period of sweet memories to remember.

Angel of destruction

Just for fun. Testing out my photoshop skills while waiting for K to come back. :)

My new wallpaper

What happened to RM1?

Was feeling so the hungry when I woke up today so I stopped by the road side to get a packet nasi lemak on the way to work. I bought the same bungkus type last week near office which cost RM1.10 so I thought it would be cheaper to get it in Klang (since Klang is so "kampung" compared to Damansara). But to my surprise, when I asked the mak cik "how much?", she answered me RM1.20!! What?? How can this be?

What happened to the "nasi lemak satu ringgit" Malaysia is famous for? It even used to be 80/90 sen for one bungkus in some places not too long ago. And don't give me the excuse of petrol hike. Do your hands run on petrol to bungkus these nasi lemaks? Kena con I tell you... we are all conned!!

"nasi lemak satu ringgit dua puluh sen"

doesn't even sound catchy. Hmmph!