a) You are pissed at me for being so emo?
b) You are keeping the promise you made to her?
c) You are just dong what I told you to do; leave me alone?
d) You are thinking what I'm thinking. Us not talking to each other is the best way to damage control? Like this, none of us will get hurt.
Part of me is proud of myself; can't believe how well I'm holding myself up. Part of me is actually sad; I miss you so much... I miss what we had. I miss how we could talk about everything and anything, including her.
My appearance doesn't match what's inside. Am I lying to myself? I can lie to the whole world, but can you see through me? I may look happy and okay on the outside, but deep down inside, I'm hollow and damaged.
Are you feeling the same way? Happy on the outside but damaged and hollow too in the inside. I cannot tell anymore. I've somehow managed to forced myself to shut you out, disconnect from you.
What's going to happen now? I'm actually afraid. I want to talk to you. But I cannot.
Every time you phone rings, my heart hurts a little. Earphones in my ears, the music; that's the only thing helping me to "try not to know".
What I don't know won't hurt me right? But why is not knowing also hurting me?
Honesty, tell me. Are you happy? Are you really really happy? I know I'm not.
Remember when I told you that I will only want the best and never settle for second best? Well, this is me; my mind, body and soul taking auto pilot. Eliminating what's not good for me.
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